


What We Are Made Of...

by psytronix



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Harems, Multi, Non-Linear Narrative, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-07-27 06:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16213241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psytronix/pseuds/psytronix
Summary: A collection of oneshots, detailing how the Gems learnt to stop worrying, and how to start loving each other.





	1. Chapter 1

_We are made of…_

* * *

 

Jasper, arms crossed, glared at the ocean before her. The uproar of cheers behind her had died, and the sun had finally set on this horrid day.

Homeworld’s ships hovered in Earth’s orbit, twinkling, hovering, abandoned for now. They were outshone by the stars, the kind you could only see on a dark night, far from the city.

Her keen sense had not been deadened from Corruption, nor the time she spent bubbled in the Burning Room. She could hear every footfall behind her, the shuffle of clothing against flesh, and the crunch of sand beneath the bare toes of the human who had saved her.

The crackle of the fire, too…

“Hey.”

She sighed. Steven smiled to her, then averted his gaze to the ocean.

“Everything okay?” He asked her.

Jasper was taken aback at the question. She _stuttered_ , reaching for the words, slowly growing outraged.

“I… No? Clearly not, Ros-“

She cut herself off, and took a deep breath.

“No. It’s not.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not in the slightest.”

"Okay... Mind if I talk, and you listen?"

“You can talk, runt. Doesn’t mean I’ll do anything to tune in.”

“Okay, well… I’m not going to pretend to know you, l-like Pearl and Garnet did, okay? I’m admitting that I don’t know anything about you, Jasper…”

She grunted, and fell flat on the beach, back against the sand, hair splayed wild.

Steven mimicked her movements.

“…Y-You’re not alone. I don’t know what you fully felt for… Her, but I know that you cared for her, at least-“

“I didn’t just care for Pink Diamond... I _loved_ Pink Diamond… My Diamond…” Jasper whispered, throwing her fists into the sand.

Steven remained quiet for a little while, kicking his sandals off his feet, and nodding.

“I… I thought I had failed to protect her. Such was the role of a Jasper, or an Amethyst – to guard one’s Diamond until you’d been shattered to your last piece…”

“And finding out… What we know now, that couldn’t have helped…” Steven added, softly.

“YOU THINK!?”

She looked back, craning her neck at the crowd who stared at them. She growled, and returned her gaze skywards. Steven rested his head in his hands, lying sideways, gazing at her.

Jasper grew agitated quickly, and darted a deadly gaze to the hybrid.

“Stop that, runt.”

“Stop what?”

Jasper pinched the bridge of her nose, and sighed again, her edge settling.

She looked to him – how long had it been since she’d been freed? Steven was no longer the plump ball of love and energy that endeared Beach City to the Crystal Gems – he, along with his human friend Connie, had _grown_.

Another set of footfalls followed behind Jasper’s head, and she gazed into the eyes of the other human, who smiled to her.

“Hiya Jasper.”

“Ugh.” The Gem replied, allowing Connie to lie down next to her.

The words struggled to come to Jasper’s head to describe them both – where once Steven was a ball, now he was a… Box? Rectangle? The soldier idly crushed some sand between her fingers and watched some seagulls soar carelessly through the twilight winds, trying to find the way to describe the humans around her.

They had drive, to say the least. Once a Gem had been shattered, that was it for them – but when a human got “shattered”, they _kept going_. If they had a goal, they would _not stop_ until it was achieved.

There was something there to admire. To respect, even...

She missed what the two were saying while she lied between them – probably a joke or reference she didn’t get…

Never before had a race defied Gem culture in such fashion – never before had a race met the love and compassion of Pink Diamond.

 _Her_ Diamond…

Jasper’s eyes wandered to Steven’s bulky chest, and the Gem that sat in place of a regular human navel. The pentagonal, rosy beauty of a quartz – a façade, crafted into an actual identity.

Given _real_ form.

She thought a while, Jasper did. She thought on the things that made her feel sad, like the loss of Pink Diamond. She thought on the things that made her feel alone, like being stranded on Earth, having to fight against her own forces. She thought about the things that made her _angry_ , the things that gave _her_ strength to fight.

And she couldn’t find any today. She felt betrayed by Pink Diamond, but she didn’t feel anger towards her. She felt irritated and upset that she had been _cured_ by her enemies, but she couldn’t hold anger against them for doing what they did.

“Jasper, try to tell us what you’re feeling. We can help you,” Connie whispered, keeping her voice just louder than the crashing tides.

Jasper’s gut reaction was to refuse such a request. But she bit back, and growled deep in her throat.

“My feelings don’t- I don’t _care_ if…” Jasper shut her eyes tight, then opened them, glaring at Steven. With stars in his eyes, he now laid on his stomach, staring directly at the big beauty of a Gem.

“WHY IS THIS SO HARD!? YOU HUMANS HAVE IT SO EASY, YOU KNOW! I… I feel awful! I feel awful that Pink Diamond would LIE to her own forces! That she would stage a war, letting COUNTLESS Gems be shattered because she thought THIS ROCK deserved LIFE!” She roared, throwing her fists into the ground in rage, cursing towards the sky.

Steven and Connie nodded, then smiled to the other.

“I know how that feels, Jasper. She was my mother, _she gave her form up for mine_ , and she left me with that, with the responsibility of a war for Earth. Rose… Pink… My mom, she did bad things. She wasn’t a perfect person – and here on Earth, that’s a good thing!” Steven assured her, using his gentlest tone possible. Jasper’s breathing died down, and she growled again, fiercely rubbing her eyes.

“It was Pink’s flaws that saved this place. It was Pink’s flaws that led me to Steven – my jam bud! It was Pink’s flaws that allowed life to continue here, Jasper!”

“Pink’s flaws…” Jasper repeated, tasting the heretical words on her palate. She shivered, and kept her eyes on the nature above her, birds still soaring in various formations, fireflies resting on the air, and the fish, bristling in the seas…

“Tell us… Is there _anything_ here on Earth that you like? Are there _any_ redeeming qualities about this place to you?” Steven asked her, his voice soft and sweet.

Jasper looked to Connie, then to Steven. She grabbed another handful of sand, and rubbed it between her fingers, savouring the coarse sensation of the fine particles, grinding against her Gem’s projected skin.

She looked back to them both, lingering on their bodies for longer than she’d cared to admit, and then back at the crowd at the bonfire behind them.

To Lapis, to Peridot, and to her fellow guards, from Earth.

Jasper thought of her birthplace, the Beta Kindergarten, and the brief moment of wonder she had, right before stepped out of her hole. The red cliffs, the blue sky, and the first breath her body took…

‘ _I am a fool,’_ She thought to herself, rubbing her eyes again. If Earth was wiped out, she wouldn’t be having this moment. She wouldn’t have had the chance to walk with nature, or to feel the sand in her fingers, or the water, tickling her toes…

“Well…”


	2. You Be, Be You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Topaz & Topaz talk tight with Garnet.

“Hello again, Topaz,” Garnet greeted, meditating on one of the many outstretched hands of the temple.

“H-hi, Garnet...” the fused warrior greeted back, sitting down in front of the perma-fusion.

A cool wind swept by them, and Topaz took a moment to breathe in, a grin creeping to her lips.

“I see you’re feeling better,” Garnet noted, unable to stop herself from smiling at the loving fusion.

“Y-yeah… We’re just...” Topaz crossed her arms, savouring the contact of herself – the unbridled connection of her, and _her_. The gems on either side of her head hummed gently, and Garnet could only smile further at the display of love – however small it was.

“Relieved,” Garnet answered for them. Topaz nodded, wiping a fresh tear or two from her eyes.

“G-gosh, sorry I’m getting so emotional lately, I-”

“Stop – no apologies for how you feel, Topaz. Cry if you want, laugh or sing if you’d like. You’re your own Gem now, remember?”

Another gust passed them by, and Topaz’s grin grew. She took a deep breath, and let her tears fall.

“I’m my own Gem,” she repeated, sniffling and laughing all the same. Garnet’s heart swelled, and she could only stare on in pride, taking her glasses off.

“It’s good to see you, being you.”

They sat there for a good while, observing the birds perching on the fingertips of the temple statue – listening to the roaring tides, laughing with another. As the sun rose to it’s peak in the sky, Garnet stood, and helped the warrior Gem up.

“Never forget this happiness, Topaz. It exists in both of you, in _you_ , as well. Take a moment every now and then to appreciate your relief, and to remember how good it feels to just be _you_ , okay?” Garnet asked, patting her fellow Gem on the shoulder. Wiping her eyes, Topaz nodded, and hugged the perma-fusion back.

“O-of course, Garnet… Thank you so much!” Squeezing her tighter, Topaz sighed, and let go. She then stared out to the city for a little while, eyes wide with anticipation.

“You haven’t had much of a chance to explore this place yet, have you?”

“N-no, actually… I’ve been kind of in a rush helping salvage what was left of Lars’ ship, and setting up shelter for some of the new arrivals...”

Garnet nodded, staring down to the beach to the Homeworld immigrants, and to Steven and Connie, who were off their feet running supplies and equipment. Garnet observed keenly as Ameythst led an impromptu conference on what was socially acceptable to eat, and what was not.

Garnet’s hearing focused on Pearl, who refuted just about every claim Amethyst made, clarifying the uses of Earth items, and what the new immigrants could expect, living on their new home.

Peridot helped, of course, translating Pearl’s vernacular for any of the confused Homeworld Gems.

“I’ve still got some lifting to do down there...” Topaz’s smile began to fade as she stepped down from the hand, only to be stopped by the maroon giant.

“Hold it, lovebirds,” Garnet said, smirking again.

“Wh-what?” Topaz asked, a tinge of dark yellow rising to her cheeks.

“Take the day off. You’ve done more than enough, and we should be done and settled in no time.”

“Oh, th-thank you, Garnet! Uh… What should I… What should we do?” Topaz asked, eyes lit with wonder. The perma-fusion took a moment to think, then shrugged her shoulders.

“Talk. Walk. Play. Find something that makes you happy, and do it,” Garnet noted, winking at the Gem.

From gemstone to gemstone, Topaz’s smile stretched wide, and she couldn’t help but tear up again. She took Garnet’s hands in her own, and laughed.

“Sorr- I… Thanks, again, Garnet.”

“Don’t mention it, Topaz.”


	3. Sadie Killer & Lars of the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lars returns to Beach City.

“I was an idiot,” Lars said, boots treading unevenly into the sand. He swatted away errant mosquitoes, which tried to suck the blood from his pink skin, grunting all the while.

“Uh-huh,” Steven agreed, not really listening to his friend.

The night was young, and Captain Barriga had returned from almost a year in space; a year, fighting, fleeing, and flourishing! He made the outer reaches of the galaxy his _element_ , leading first the Off-Colours, then, his own miniature fleet!

He was there to represent humanity when a truce was called, standing at Steven’s side in the court of the Diamonds. He was Lars – reformed, resurrected, and regretting ever having stepped foot back on Earth.

He stopped in his tracks, letting his crew-mates skip past him, and huffed.

“Maybe I should just head back guys, and-”

“NO!” Steven yelled, eyes lighting up in fear. Rhodonite and the Rutile twins caught him, for what had been the seventh escape attempt so far. Struggling with all the inhuman strength he could muster, Lars failed, digging his feet into the sand.

“Guys! Quit it!” He whined, trying his best to slip out of his coat to avoid the Gem blockade that was Fluorite.

“No, Lars! We won’t let you do this!” The twins echoed, marching forward with their captain’s arm in hand. He grunted, and struggled still, irritation growing. What if Sadie didn’t want to see him? What if she’d forgotten him? What if she _didn’t_ forget him, and the awful things he did to her before he left for Homeworld?

“No, sir! We didn’t go through _everything_ we did just to have our Captain weasel out like this!” Rhodonite roared, a set of arms holding Lars in place, and the other set fixing up his attire. He looked into her eyes, and recognised the strain, the _fear_ , and relief in all four of them, and sighed.

“No… Definitely not… Trust us, Lars...” Fluorite intoned, pushing against the lad’s back.

He groaned, and marched, face set in a sour line.

“Oh no, I’m being haunted by a terrible vision, everyone! Lars will attempt to escape again!” Padparadscha wailed, clinging to Lar’s leg.

“Ugh, damn it...” Their Captain whined again, hating the worried look on the defective Gem’s face. He kept his steady march towards Sadie’s home, glancing every now and then to Steven, who remained silent.

“Why are you doing this, Steven?” Lars questioned, _drained_. As the crunch of sand faded from beneath him, Beach City’s sounds and sights soon returned to his senses. The ever-present waft of the Big Donut, ready and baking, soothed a nerve within him. His family home, just in sight, brought happy tears to his eyes, and he could hear and remark on the sweet tunes of Sour Cream, muffled by some abandoned warehouse.

“O-oh,” he sputtered, allowing his tears to well in his eyes, “Sour Cream’s finally producing Tr-trap...”

Steven nodded to the Off-Colours, and they released their Captain. Feeling his throat locking up in response to Lars’ welling emotions, Steven hugged him – hugged his brother. It took a bit for the shock to wear off, but Lars hugged him back, weeping in the street.

“St-Steven...”

“Y-yeah, buddy?” Steven responded, noticing the Gems joining in on their embrace.

“Padparadscha… F-Fluorite, Rhodonite, Rutiles… Why are you guys doing this for me?”

“Because you’re our Captain, dummy!” Rhodonite chortled, wiping away the wetness from both her sets of eyes. Padparadscha, the twins, and Fluorite could only nod, closing in on the boys tighter.

“And… St-Steven?” Lars asked, quietly ashamed with himself for breaking down in public. Steven broke from their embrace, and smiled – radiant, and pure as love itself.

“I’m helping you… So you don’t make the same mistake I did, Lars...” The boy whispered, thinking back to himself, and how he tried to put a barrier between himself and Connie...

God, her loved her – how strong, _determined_ , and fierce she was – and the strength she displayed in pushing past his idiotic, careless display…

Steven took a moment to compose himself, and wiped away his tears on a jacket sleeve.

“C-Connie stopped me from making this same mistake, Lars… When I came back from fighting Jasper, I didn’t want her to be exposed to my life, and the dangers that came with it – I _pushed_ her away, and...”

Lars sniffed, nodding to the boy, wiping his own tears away on his cape.

“She pushed back. Made me realise how dumb I looked,” Steven said, “When we try to protect our loved ones by pushing them away, it just leads to more hurt, Lars...”

“He’s… Right, you know...” Fluorite agreed, eyes closed as each of her Gems resonated with the other.

“B-but, what i-if-”

“If Sadie cares, then she won’t care about the what-ifs, Lars! No matter what, she’s still your friend, and I am too!” He shouted, hugging the lad again. Lars let out a chuckle, small, and let his tears fall again, basking in the latent love of his crew.

“This Sadie sounds like a patient gal, Lars… I’m sure she’s been counting the days until she can see you again!” Rhodonite encouraged, patting him on the back.

“Th-thanks… I love you guys...” He mumbled to them, slowing breaking out of their group-hug.

“Good… Now go… Get her, Tiger...” Fluorite drawled, giggling.

“She’s all yours, sir! Good luck, sir!” The Rutiles cheered.

Steven looked down to Padparadscha, who grinned, upwards at her Captain. As the wind whistled within the trees, and the group continued their stroll to Sadie’s street, a calm befell them. A glorious, welcoming, invited calm. A calm that served to cleanse their tears, ease their woes, and to let them know that _they were home_.

Lars took deep breaths as he found himself in front of Sadie’s home. With Steven at his right, stars in his eyes, he chuckled again, hugging his brother once more. Padparadscha dismounted his leg, and stood behind him, grinning still.

The Rutile twins stood at his left, arms behind their back, and gave their final words of encouragement. With one last look to the two fusions on his team, Lars smiled again, at their knowing nods.

He strode forward, cape billowing in the breeze of Beach City, and rapped on Sadie’s door.

“Oh, everyone, everyone! I’ve been blessed with a truly remarkable vision!” Padparadscha declared, drawing her Captain’s attention backwards. She could barely contain herself, humming happily.

“Lars is going to muster the courage to do something incredible!”

He turned back, and came face to face with her. Doled up in makeup, no doubt ready for a gig, she stared on in disbelief. She reached out a hand to touch his white, puffy hair, and he shivered on the spot, uneasy, chastising thoughts running wild in his mind.

As her eyes became glossy with tears, Sadie shrieked.

She shrieked. Pounced at him. Layered him with kiss upon kiss to his flowery skin, words turning to gibberish as the questions came too fast for her lips to formulate. And with tears fresh in his eyes, he embraced her on her doorstep, kissing back.

Sadie’s heart soared, with relief, with passion, and with an unrequited love that soon just turned to love, pure and simple. Steven had told her that “today would be the big today”, about a hundred times, but she never truly believed it would come until it _did._

She couldn’t stop herself from bubbling up in tears, blubbering in a mess, and _embracing_ him like she did. The errant streaks of makeup, scored on his skin, served as a wonderful reality-check, a memory she wouldn’t ever rid her mind of. _Lars Barriga_ , her player one, _was back!_

Sadie would inquire about the pink skin later. And the white hair. And the Gem entourage. And the bigger, green Gem that stared them down, looking pissed. And Steven.


	4. Comin' Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper returns.

A fire crackled, a clock ticked the time away, and a gentle pouring of rain slapped against the walls of the Temple. Trickling down like the infinite paths of time known only to Garnet, Steven traced the raindrops with his finger, leaving a trail of steam on a window.

Resting peacefully, clutched to his side, was his fusee, girlfriend, and jam bud – Connie Maheswaran. She smiled in her sleep, lulled by the ever pouring, crashing tides of droplets. Steven went to stroke her leg, still in a cast, and she recoiled, wincing a little.

He licked his fingers, slid them just below the edge of the tightened cast, and massaged the magic into her. With a feather’s touch to the injured eagle, her wincing soon faded, and she slept, deeper this time.

The Crystal Gems were out on a mission, and knew too late that the evening was to be Steven and Connie’s date night – one of their first sleepovers as young adults.

Doctor Maheswaran thought she knew what the seventeen and fifteen-year olds would be trying.

Pearl had an idea – and didn’t like it, one bit.

“Oh my stars, how could I have been so careless!? Garnet, did you know this was going to happen?” Pearl cried, grinding her teeth on her fingernails.

Garnet had turned to Pearl, expression neutral.

“Nope,” The fusion intoned, ignoring Amethyst’s barely suppressed giggle.

“Aww, c’mon Pearl! Just let them have a night alone! Or are you gonna impede on Steven’s funky flow, huh?” The purple gem piped, launching herself between Steven and Connie, on their living room couch.

Pearl pinched the bridge of her nose, an acute heat rising to her cheeks.

“Steven’s funky flow is the exact thing I’m looking to impede!” She declared, ignoring Steven’s own blood-red blush. Connie chuckled, nursing her busted leg, and reached a hand over Amethyst to pat the boy’s back.

“Funky flow, huh?” She asked, unable to keep a straight face.

“Guys, please! W-we could take shifts sleeping! In separate beds, definitely!” Steven tried to barter, his voice cracking through his offer.

“No! I’m sorry for ruining date night, you two, but you’ll have to come with us on this mission!” Pearl ordered, her face sternly set. Amethyst cleared her throat, and morphed herself in Pearl’s image, crossing her legs.

She threw a haughty hand up, huffed, shaking her head.

“No, children! You must come with me to perilous peaks – yes, you, the girl with the leg injury! Why, and the little embarrassed boy as well, I’m sure he’ll be willing to fight on his one day off a week!” Pearl’s purple mirror declared, standing up and clapping her hands in a “chop-chop” manner.

Steven and Connie laughed, filling the Amethyst with pride. Pearl, on the other hand, just glared at her counterpart, shaking her head.

“I’m trying to be diplomatic here, you three… If you… If Connie’s parents found out that we left you alone, on _date night_ , of all nights, then there’s no telling what they’d do...”

“They’d probably ban me from seeing Steven again. Only if something… _Serious_ happened _,”_ Connie answered, nodding her head sagely. Glad to have someone on her side, Pearl sighed with relief, and felt Garnet’s strong hands upon her shoulders. Connie and Steven shared a look, and took the other’s hand in theirs.

“If they found out,” Connie finished, smirking, _smirking_ at her teacher. Pearl’s cheeks rose with a blue heat again, and she groaned. With little instruction, Garnet ordered Amethyst to the Warp Pad, leaving the lovebirds alone. She simply held her stance, arms crossed over chest, unmoving – _staring_ at Pearl.

“B-but what if Stevonni-”

“No fusion. Not while Connie is hurt,” Garnet ordered, blinking her third eye at the stuttering Pearl.

“Oh… Oh, alright! But some ground rules – separate beds, sleeping in shifts, and-” With a startled yelp, Pearl was yanked over to the Warp Pad, by a retracting, gangly arm.

“And keep the fire going! I love you both!” Garnet beamed.

“Catch ya later, nerds!” And with Amethyst’s farewell, a brief flash of light, and a sigh of relief, the jam buds stood up from the lounge. Favouring her good leg, Connie held onto Steven, almost dangling from his massive frame, and giggled, looking down at their bare feet.

“Sooo… Now that they’re gone, what did you want to do, Steven?” She asked, her voice quiet – even amidst the pitter-patter of the rain. Still fighting a deadly blush, Steven cleared his throat, and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I was actually kinda hoping to lie down and read a book together... It’s been a long week...” He mumbled back to her, looking down at his toes, too.

“Cool. I’d like that too.”

He scooped her up, careful on where to place his hand in the crook of her legs, and carried her up the stairs to his bed, lying her down gently. Deep into the night, they discussed many things – the latest spinoff of The Spirit Morph Saga, and how it betrayed the tones of the original – Onion’s sweet new hairdo – Peridot and Lapis’s latest mobile meep-morp installation, and the weather, of all things.

When the clock struck 11PM, Connie took the first sleeping shift, savouring the closeness of her bear of a boyfriend. 12AM rolled past quick, she opened her eyes without a thought, and let the boy rest, staring out to the soaked cliffs of Beach City.

1AM, and still, no more Crystal Gems were to be found. Steven sighed as he awoke, stroking Connie’s luscious locks. He felt a quiet rumble stir the house – a bout of thunder, no doubt, and rested deeper into his bed.

His eyes locked on the roaring embers of the furnace, and he grumbled as he got up poking around the fire to make sure it wouldn’t go out. Another rumble, low and steady, vibrated the walls of the temple’s house.

“Lightning’s getting closer...” He mumbled to himself, scratching the multi-faceted gem on his navel, praying that Peridot wouldn’t be up on the roof of the Barn.

“That’d be just like her,” Steven thought aloud, “trying to harvest the energy of lightning strikes...”

He giggled to himself, and slipped back into bed with Connie, minding her mending leg. He stared at it for a while. Hating the cast. How much pain Connie was in, and how much she couldn’t do with the damn thing on. With a sour expression, he recounted in his head the many ways he could’ve prevented her injury.

‘ _I should’ve caught her. Should’ve seen the corrupted Gem coming. Should’ve poofed it before then...’_ The sickening crack,  and Connie’s pained shriek were two things he _never_ wanted to hear again. So while she rested, he did his best to heal her.

He was getting better at it. Healing corruption, too!

Granted he could only do one gem at a time, and truth be told, he had only tried it on  _one_ gem so far, but it could be done! Steven shivered, remembering the physical and mental stress it put him under, but revelled, and rejoiced still at the expression on the Nephrite’s face when he healed her.

Quicker than the last, but quieter than the first, the next roll of thunder came. Steven’s hair stood on the back of his neck, and he left the bed again, noting it was only 1:15 AM, and it’d been five minutes since the last strike.

The house  _shook_ , and he had to brace himself on a coffee table, crouching low. His eyes snapped back to the Warp Pad, which hummed it’s neutral signal. Darting up, he saw the Gem’s room indicators – noting that, much to his surprise, Garnet’s gems were pulsing.

Another rumble, and Steven alerted Connie, waking the girl up as  quietly as he could.

“Something’s coming,” he whispered, mindlessly conjuring his shield. Connie tried her best to stand to attention, but winced, crying out as she put too much force on her healing leg. Steven stopped her, hugging tight, and looked deep into her eyes.

“I’ll handle this, trust me. Get Peridot on her phone if you can, okay?” He asked her, knowing her gut instinct would be to say “no, let me help you.”

To her credit, knowing her limits – and knowing Garnet’s warning on fusing as human, _when_ _injured_ \- Connie nodded to him. She took a deep breath, and sighed.

“Damn it… Okay. Please, be careful – we don’t know how long Peri or Lapis will be,” she advised, yawning as she pulled out her phone. Steven nodded back, and conjured his sword as well – a newer, sharper, “beastlier” blade produced by Bismuth.

Within the Burning Room, the beast roared with untamed fury.

It wanted out.

It wanted pink.

Bursting through Garnet’s stone veil, it emerged, rearing it’s spiked, moulded head. Whipping it’s furiously flowing mane, it let rip another ghastly roar, sniffing the air for a Gem. With horns in place of it’s eyes, it’s skin glowing orange with rage, it set it’s path on Steven.

“Rooooooohh…” It growled at him.

Steven gasped, instantly recognising it. It’d only been two years since she’d been bubbled, and still, she looked every bit as corrupt she did on the day they fought their final battle.

She was Steven’s first real threat. Half of the terror of the seas, Malachite – and the scorned hand of Pink Diamond…

“Jasper,” Steven huffed, charging at the beast as it met him halfway, her horns clashing with his shield. Connie made quick headway, and put her back against the door to the temple’s house, ready to leave on a second’s notice.

“Hello, Peridot here! If this is a human calling at this time, then you should be in bed!” Her phone chimed.

Connie could only look on in horror at Jasper’s form – once proud, powerful, and the master of her own realm, now driven mad with rage, loss, and vengeance. Steven had told her the tale of how Peridot dealt the finishing blow to Jasper, and how Smoky Quartz was able to wipe the floor with her!

Never had she taken Steven’s retelling of  Jasper’s corruption to her imagination. The original shimmering orange and yellow of Jasper’s peak form were mottled with greens and blues, sickly and moss-like. Her beastly claws and fangs, not to mention the startling  _lack of eyes_ took the words from Connie’s mouth.

“J-Jasper...” She mumbled into the phone, quickly steeling herself.

“Eh? Jasper? You have a phone now? But… Hey, wait a second, you’re supposed to be bubbled! And corrupted! And you don’t sound like Jasper! Who is this?”

“Peridot, th-this is Connie! Jasper’s broken out of her bubble, and she’s wrecking the temple! Steven’s fighting her at the moment, but we need your and Lapis’ help, if she’s there!”

“Nye-of course Connie! Why, with all this rain in the sky and the natural metal deposits within the cliffs of the temple, we’ll make short work of her!” The little green Gem boasted over the phone, scrambling her barn-mate to action.

“Just please, hurry!” Connie yelled, stepping aside as Jasper through Steven against the wall, next to her. Expanding his shield to cover them both, Steven took the charge of Jasper head-on, and grunted on impact.

“She’s unrestrained! We need to at least get her back to her original form if we’re gonna have any chance of beating her, Connie!” He roared, pushing back, step by step, against Jasper’s screaming charge. She tried headbutting the shield as she was pushed back, attempting and failing to conjure her Crash Helmet.

“Piiiii… DIIIIIIIII!” She shrieked, launched into the air with a mighty uppercut, which shattered the roof of the beach house. Steven leapt up to her peak, sustaining himself in the air with happy thoughts, and pounded his fists down upon the Gem, slamming her back into the destroyed floor.

While she was recoiling, he licked his palm, and slapped it against her furred back, his cleansing magic vibrating through her light-form. Jasper wailed in pain, patches of her skin clearing, before flipping back on her front, and leaping at Steven again.

“It’s not working!”

“Keep trying! Peri and Lapis will be here any minute!” Connie encouraged, internally berating herself for ever having been injured in the first place, keeping her eyes on Jasper’s wild leaps.

“ROOOOOOHHHH!” With a mighty bound, Jasper tackled Steven into the ground, desperately clawing at the boy’s quickly summoned shield. It shrieked with rage, and whipped it’s sights back to Connie, sniffing the air again.

“NO!” Steven cried, whipping upwards, frisbeeing his shield towards the corrupted Gem. It landed a solid hit against Jasper’s temples, and the beast stumbled, reeling back from the strike. Steven pressured it away from Connie, up the stairs to his bed – wasting precious seconds trying to beckon his sword once more.

Jasper was resilient – _tough_. Even in her regular form she was near-unbeatable. Garnet had thrown an entire _ship_ upon Jasper’s head, and she came back _angrier!_ Smoky Quartz made laughable work out of her when she was attempting to amass a corrupted army, but it was a lucky blow that had poofed her corrupted form.

Even now it seemed like another bubbling wouldn’t work. She would just break out of her shell again, and what if no Crystal Gems were there to defend the Burning Room? What if she had shattered other bubbles on her way out?

“Jasper! Listen to me!” Steven beckoned, slicking his hands with saliva as he did away with his shield for the moment, intending on assaulting the Gem with a volley of moistened punches. It bubbled a growl deep within it’s throat, and sniffed hatefully at the boy’s wet hands.

“This isn’t you! I can get you off this planet, Jasper! Anything you want – just so long as we can _set you free!”_ He yelled, leaping forward, with hands whipping about, smacking the hide of the reeling, roaring beast.

It worked for a time, and Steven could see more humanoid body parts emerging from Jasper’s corrupted shell. He pressed on, tears pouring down his face, cheeks stained by rain, and layered each bubbling part of skin with more healing magic. A boot made contact with his chest, and sent him flying down his stairs, careening near the burning furnace.

Jasper’s corrupted form returned, and she stalked Connie down the stairs, the girl shimmying back as quickly as she could. As the floor was torn again, claws digging into the ground for another daring leap, Connie froze, bracing for the worst.

Then, a door flew into the beast’s face.

“BISMUTH!”

“Biggs! What the heck have they done to you!?” Bismuth roared, rushing over the corrupted Gems’ reeling form, darting her eyes around the room.

“That’s not Biggs! That’s Jasper!” Steven yelled, standing up and charging back at her, dribbling his spit onto his digits.

“Oh, that ain’t right… This is the corrupted Jasper you were telling me about a few months ago!?” Bismuth asked as she pinned the injured Gem down, allowing Steven to press his magic against her again.

“Yeah! Listen, Bismuth – we need to get the corruption out of her Gem completely! I can reverse it’s effect, but Jasper keeps fighting against it! It’s like she _wants_ to stay corrupted!”

Bismuth darted her eyes about the room again, rainbow locks shaking with wetness. She bit her lip, and looked down at the writhing Gem itself – noticing the icy tendrils of blue and green that seemed to mottle about inside it.

An idea came to her, and she beamed to Steven.

“We need heat, and lots of it – it’s a long shot, but it just might do the trick for now! I need you to get into the Burning Room for me!”

“I-I can’t, Jasper broke the door to it!”

“The furnace!” Connie yelled, pointing to the simmering coals. Bismuth grunted, and locked eyes with Steven.

“Steven, I’ll need you to keep her busy while I superheat it! Just keep her pinned, and keep that saliva coming!”

And so they swapped, Bismuth darting to squish and mould the coal between her hands, rising to melting temperatures as she rubbed it vigorously. Steven threw his whole weight against Jasper’s, pressing his wet hands against her arms.

Trickling down with the rain, his purification continued unabated, increasing Jasper’s deranged ire.

“ROOOOOOSE QUAARRRRRAAAAH!” She roared, eyes slowly returning – sight _burning_ the image of Steven into her mind again. Tears began to prick at his eyes as he continued holding her down, focusing on her Gem-nose.

“Comin’ it hot, get her ready, Steven!”

“I can’t hold her down for much longer, Bismuth!”

“ROOOOOOSE!” Jasper roared, kicking the hybrid lad off herself. She tapped into the corruption within her Gem, and tried pulling it outwards again – reversing the work of Rose’s healing powers. With a powerful, guttural grunt, Bismuth smashed her open palm against Jasper’s face, introducing the melting coal to the corrupted Gem.

Jasper _squealed_ like a beast, finally caught, and reared back, stumbling on just two legs, face quickly scratching off the molten goop.

Thought slowly returned to Jasper’s mind then. Clear, rational, thoughts.

Thoughts of pain. Thoughts of anger. At Rose Quartz, _again!_

And another hand slammed into her Gem – against her face. And although it singed from the residual heat of the magma, he poured everything – every last good thought and happy memory into the open-palm strike.

Jasper stumbled again, _drained_. She stumbled again, and fell to her knees.

Looking up to the injured Steven Universe, and his friend, the Bismuth, Jasper growled, too tired to put up another fight – too _drained_ to call upon the corruption’s power.

“Rose...” She spat, eyes burning with a pure hatred.

“I am Steven Universe!” He boomed. From the floor, two metal spikes shot upwards, looping around Jasper’s shoulders, pinning her to the ground again. From the rain shot two watery claws, which held the warrior’s legs down. Floating downwards on wings of water, Peridot and Lapis landed through the hole in the roof.

“Yeah! And we’re the Crystal Gems, you clod!”

(Some hours later…)

3AM came around too slow for Steven Universe. As he and Connie dried themselves off, Peridot and Lapis kept an eye on Jasper. They sat on the steps that led to Steven’s torn up “room”, staring at the falling rain again...

Jasper was distant. Her eyes were glazed over, clouded by a seething anger. She didn’t move, didn’t struggle against her restraints, metallic or liquid – she simply stared at Steven, when and wherever he moved. As Peridot rattled off some questions, interrogating the once-corrupted Gem, Bismuth saw to repairing the house, reconstituting the metal in the furnace to be reused in the roof.

“H-hey, Bismuth?” Connie asked, shivering as Steven kept his arms wrapped around her.

“Huh? Uh, yeah Connie?”

“How did you know we were in trouble?” She asked, peering over to Jasper, who appeared to be sneering at Steven’s feet, slowly bringing her gaze upwards. Bismuth looked to the human, and shrugged, smiling smugly.

“Felt the ground shake. I knew it couldn’t be good. First thought was to scramble some fighters, just in case, and… Yeah. Last hole in the roof should be patched fully now, too!” Bismuth answered, hopping down from a rugged step ladder Peridot had moulded for her.

“Thanks for coming when you did, and… I hope we weren’t interrupting anything...” Steven thanked, smiling back at her.

“Don’t mention it. I was just yammering to that Ronaldo fella anyway… Aren’t you two tired, by the way? We could always keep watch until the rest of them come back...” Bismuth asked, wiping the water from her rainbow locks.

As Steven opened his mouth to respond, a flash of white light resounded from the Warp Pad, and as the veil cleared, Garnet strode forward, checking on him and Connie.

“Are you two alright?” She asked, third eye crooked in concentration.

“Oh my-STEVEN! What happened here?” Pearl yelled, stopped midway in her strides as she stared on at Jasper. Amethyst chuckled, applauding the mess, before she too, caught eyes with the orange Gem.

“You...” She scowled, conjuring her flail, ready to smack down on the restrained Gem.

“Steven… How did y-” Pearl’s words were stopped by Garnet’s icy look, and the perma-fusion leapt back to keep Amethyst at bay.

“Steven and Bismuth, they… Purified her...” Connie answered, a tinge of pride coming into her voice, despite the stress the night had caused her, and her injury.

“Like Nephrite?” Pearl asked.

“Nuh-uh. Good old fashioned flame and spit. We _forged_ it out of her,” Bismuth answered, arms crossed and smile wide. With a weary sigh, Garnet took her visor off, and smiled thankfully to the Barn Mates.

“Thanks for holding down the fort, you two. We’ll take over if you want a break.”

“Heh, I could keep this up all night!” Peridot boasted, clearly straining herself to keep her metallic bindings tight around Jasper. Lapis let her grip on Jasper go loose, grunting with exertion, and she remarked as the warrior Gem let her soaked arms flop to the ground.

“What the...” She uttered, stepping back. Peridot’s grip faltered, and the metal groaned as it eased it’s vice on the formerly corrupted Gem. Pearl and Amethyst unleashed their weapons again, and took careful positions around Lapis and Peridot, making sure to cover the exhausted pair.

Garnet and Bismuth remained at ease, simply standing at the sides of the defeated Jasper.

“I know that look,” Bismuth mumbled, shaking her head. Garnet’s third eye wrinkled in concentration, and she sighed, taking a seat on the lounge. To her left and right, the Crystal Gems relaxed at her calm demeanour, and at the future she saw.

“Jasper won’t be going anywhere for a while. When she chooses to leave, we won’t stop her,” The fusion intoned, motioning Steven and Connie to come down the stairs. Steven helped Connie, and laid her on the couch, as Peridot took a seat near her head, panting.

As Steven went to join Pearl and Amethyst on their prisoner-watch, he caught Jasper’s gaze. Her eyes lit up, and she sneered at him. Beyond a twitch in her left eye, she didn’t move another muscle.

“Do you remember me?” He asked. Jasper snapped to attention, noting the warmth, and tiredness in his voice. It _sung_ to her, clung to the very thing reason she was built for. Jasper noted, with suppressed anger, the commander’s call in Rose’s voice – his innocence, marred by acts of war and the burden of another’s life on his.

He crouched, his eyes showing no hatred or anger towards her. Starry and opalescent, Jasper caught herself blushing, stuttering out a response to the question she’d forgotten. He shook his head, and silently ordered Pearl and Amethyst to back off.

Effortlessly, he ripped Jasper’s restraints off, and helped her to her feet. Though he’d grown, gone through a few growth spurts, Jasper still stood taller than him – as only a prime specimen would. She glared at him for daring to touch her, but didn’t dare raise her hand to defend herself.

Whether she couldn’t or didn’t want to, she kept in the back of her mind, staring into the boy’s eyes, as they shifted slowly around the room.

“ _Welcome back to Earth, Jasper.”_

It was then Jasper’s hardlight heart stopped. Tears pricked at her eyes as she stared into him, legs shaking in a horrid realisation.

“Pink Diamond… My Diamond...” She uttered.


	5. Converse in the Closet, Shorty Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation between Amethyst and Peridot helps set them both straight.

“Hey. You… Okay, A?” Peridot asked, clasping a gentle mug of cocoa. Amethyst sniffled, wiping the hot tears from her eyes, and nodded, forcing a smile.

“Peachy-keen, P-dot...”

“Again, I have no idea what that means.”

“Old saying from some radio DJ… I-I’m fine, Peridot, really-” Peridot thrust the hot mug in front of Amethyst’s face, the sharp scent of the chocolate filling the Gem’s nostrils.

“Stop lying, you’re terrible at it… A-slice...” Peridot jostled, leaving Amethyst alone in the closet she’d hid herself in, only to return with another mug of steaming cocoa.

“A-and you’re terrible with nicknames, Per… Where do you keep getting these?” Amethyst asked, sipping of the mug, partaking of it’s mental healing powers. She blinked away more tears as Peridot stared at her own mug, sighing.

“Steven made it. He says it would help him answer Jasper’s questions,” Peridot answered, dipping her finger into the boiling liquid.

“You’re supposed to drink it, y’know...” Amethyst chuckled, sipping again, savouring the care Steven obviously put into the liquid chocolate. Peridot narrowed her eyes at Amethyst, before cautiously dipping her tongue into the mixture. She recoiled, and rolled the taste around on her palette, scrunching her face up in concentration.

As Amethyst finished hers, she chuckled again, wiping her cheeks with one of Steven’s shirts.

“If you don’t want it-”

“NO! I-I-I mean… No. This is mine,” the diminutive green Gem growled, protecting the mug with fervour. A quiet chuckle erupted from the closet, and from their dark recesses, Amethyst and Peridot could hear Pearl and Lapis talking as well, Pearl still fraught with worry.

They could hear Jasper’s hushed tones as well, knowing full well that Garnet and Bismuth were at Steven’s side, should she try anything.

“I love you, P,” Amethyst assured the smaller Gem, bringing her into a tight hug.

“You too, Amethyst...” Peridot mumbled, sipping from her mug in the runt-Gem’s embrace. Amethyst broke away, and smiled, hand over her own chest.

“Why were you crying?”

“I wasn’t there for Steven. I… I just _knew_ Jasper wouldn’t be put down so easily… I mean, you remember her the last time we fought, right?” Amethyst asked, her voice shaking as her throat clenched, tears prickling back at her eyes again.

Peridot put a hand over the Amethyst’s shoulder, warm from the cup of cocoa.

“I do.”

“My sis… She just _gave into it…_ She hated Steven for something he didn’t even do, and she was willing to hunt us down to the last Gem to shatter him, Per!”

“But she didn’t. We proved that we had the power to defeat her, Amethyst! I had Garnet quantify it for me, too!”

“The power? Quanti-what are you talking about?”

“The power of lov-you know what, that doesn’t matter now – you still haven’t answered my question!”

Amethyst remained quiet, listening to Pearl laugh nervously at a deadpan joke from Lapis. Connie had woken up as well, if the tired, feminine drones were anything to go by. She kicked around the t-shirts and dirty clothes in the closet for a little bit, sighing again.

“I’m supposed to protect him. I-I don’t know why I feel the need to anymore, but… Steven’s… He’s like a brother to me, and when he gets hurt, when...”

Peridot narrowed her gaze at Amethyst again, taking another long, drawn out sip.

“When someone as strong as Jasper just _pops her own bubble_ , with the intent to attack him… I just… I feel like I failed again. I stopped being useful to him, to _anyone_ a long time ago...”

Peridot thought a moment, analysing the keen scrunching and contortion of Amethyst’s face, and comparing it to one of Camp Pining Hearts’ many heart-touching moments.

“If you think that, then you’re a moron. Yes, you may need some improvement, but we all do, even now! If something bad happens and you _fail_ , don’t mope about it – just _get better_ , and be better!”

Offended, Amethyst opened her mouth, ready to counter Peridot’s points.

“Pearl still does it sometimes, too! She finds herself locked in training, fighting not against a real enemy, but copies of herself! She stagnates, remembering back to the days when her only purpose was to serve her Diamond!”

Peridot took a breath, and calmed herself.

“You aren’t perfect the way you are. But you are special, Amethyst – not just to me, but to Steven, to Pearl, to Garnet, Connie, and even Pumpkin! You, you...”

Amethyst began to blush at the sincerity of the Homeworld Gem’s words, and the message she was trying to get across. Tears bubbled at Peridot’s eyes as she spoke, averting her gaze from Amethyst.

“You are great in so many ways, but you are awful at so many things. It’s the good things that make people like us, but it’s the things we’re bad at that make people love us.”

A laugh began to tickle at the back of Amethyst’s throat. It turned to a quiet chuckle, and soon, both she and Peridot were keeling over with laughter, wiping the beaming tears from their eyes.

“Th-that is some _awful_ advice, Per… Did you get that from Camp Pining Hearts?”

“Oh please, CPH was _so_ afraid to use the “L-word”, they’d never say something as risque as I would!”

They giggled again, and Peridot snickered, kicking at the piles of falling shirts that soon buried her and Amethyst.

“And remember, you don’t have a sole purpose. I mean, you weren’t even _born_ with one! So don’t feel bad if you can’t protect Steven all the time – it’s not like he’s low on family!” Peridot reasoned, rubbing her chin. Amethyst chuckled mirthlessly, and sighed again.

“I don’t… I don’t feel a _need_ to, I just… I mean, we’re family, P-Dot! Of course I want to protect him!”

“That’s good. But you don’t have to make yourself useful to him, or anyone else for that matter! Jeez, if you wanted, you could even travel the world, be your own Gem – and me and the rest of the Crystal Gems would be okay with it!”

“Heh, you’d miss me though, right?”

“Of course we would, we love you.” Peridot replied, reassuring Amethyst, a deep fatigue in her voice. Amethyst hugged her again, and sighed.

“I like the idea, but I don’t wanna leave… I’m happy here. I got you guys, the Famethyst, Greg, all the trash I could ever eat, and the beach, too!”

“So… What do you want to do, then?” Peridot asked, wiping her finger along the inside of the empty mug, licking the foam off her finger. Amethyst stared into her eyes, and smiled.

“I’m gonna welcome Jasper back. I’m gonna tell Steven I’m sorry, and that I’ll be sure to be there next time, but that I’ve got my own thing going on, and that he can cover for himself because he’s stronger now, and...”

“And...”

“I’m gonna go to my room and think… Thanks, Per...”

“Don’t mention it, A!” Hugging Amethyst tight, Peridot then punched her way out of the closet, and took in a deep breath.

“HEY STEVEN, AMETHYST HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU!”


	6. Hopal for Opal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A secret is revealed...

With another glorious poof, a corrupted Gem’s form was destablised, bubbled, and warped away within seconds. The two warriors who’d combated the corrupted creature fell back on their mountain-top, earning their well earned rest.

Steven groaned as he fell back on a patch of soft dirt, staring up to the parting clouds. With the power to conjure storms, and an abundance of heat, cold, and water – Steven, Amethyst and Pearl fought hard in their disadvantage.

It required Opal to take the flying beast down, and one shimmering, piercing arrow.

“Uh… Hi again,” Steven greeted the giant woman – the first he’d ever remembered meeting. Opal didn’t take notice of him, her four arms pressed firmly into the crags of a rocky mountain as she reclined – staring into the clearing air.

Steven plopped himself down next to her, huffing out a busy breath. He stared, hand brushing against one of hers. Opal giggled at the touch, eyes not moving from the skyline. Slowly, her fingers, deft, yet firm, clenched around his.

“I was worried about you, a few nights ago,” she greeted him, humming idly to the wind’s tune. Steven grit his teeth, and held his free hand to his chest, wracked with guilt.

“Jasper?” Opal’s hand clutched tighter ‘round his, giving him his answer to the horrid question.

“That’s what _made_ me today. Amethyst, Pearl… We were worried about you. And… That helped us fuse to begin, but… We did good despite that, huh?” The giantess chuckled, a lone tear trickling down her left cheek.

“O-Opal...” To keep her composure despite their negative emotions, Steven couldn’t begin to imagine the stress the two Gems were under.

“I-I’m sorry to make you worry...” He whispered.

“It’s fine. We worry. Garnet bosses. The world keeps on turning,” She laughed, her voice so sweet, soft and… _stone-cold_.

“But you shouldn’t have to worry about me, Opal…”

She nodded to him, solemn, and they stared outwards to the sky again, sighing in the wind. Their hands entwined, Steven stared back up to her, losing himself within her eyes.

“I know it may sound a bit selfish, or rude, but… I can’t help but enjoy the time we spend together. You guys work together really well… I suppose it’s kinda like seeing Sapphire and Ruby apart for a little while...”

Opal chuckled.

“I know the feeling... Amethyst has more fun with Ruby than she does with Sapphire. Pearl likes to confide in Sapphire… I love them all, but I appreciate Garnet’s... Non-Garnet-ness...” The fusion drawled, her face scrunching up awkwardly as she stared down at her feet.

“Does that sound odd?” She asked. Steven could only laugh, hugging the archer-Gem.

“Not at all...”

Opal hugged him back, sniffling and laughing, tussling the young man’s hair.

“So… What’s it like, talking to me?”

“I-it’s kinda like how Amethyst first talked about you two… You’re a stone-cold Betty, which is what you get from Amethyst, and-”

“I’m kinda tall,” Opal finished for him, giving him an incredulous look. Steven broke into laughter, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. He broke from their embrace to catch some air, and flashed the fusion a grin.

“Y-yeah! You’re also… Graceful, protective, _strong_ , and… I don’t know…” Steven rubbed the back of his head as be broke his gaze with her, kicking at the dirt atop the mountain.

“And...”

“You’re easy to talk to. I talk a lot with both Amethyst _and_ Pearl about private stuff, so I guess I just see some of the best of the both of you… It makes me feel… Calm.”

Opal nodded, smiling sweetly. A tinge of dark purple dusted her cheeks, and she couldn’t help but feel her heart swell at the young man’s confession.

“So I’m a giant, bow-wielding, four-armed bartender,” she joked, Amethyst’s keen knowledge of all things soapbox augmenting Pearl’s acerbic wit. Steven chuckled again, and sighed, grabbing one of the fusion’s hands and placing it against his chest.

“That can kick a lot of butt!” He added, embracing Opal in a hug again. She laughed with him, staring towards the light, puffy clouds again, simply _happy_. As the winds began to chill and the sun began to set, they broke apart, staring deeply into the other’s eyes.

“I don’t get a chance to say it much to you, but I love you, Opal,” Steven said. She wiped a tear from her eye, and tussled his hair again, chuckling.

“I know you do. You love each part of me, so why not the whole Betty?” She joked again.

“I know, I know… Just making sure...”

“I love you too, Steven Universe,” Opal intoned, beaming now, teeth bared in a goofy grin. They hugged, and broke apart again. Steven made his way down the mountain, to the nearest Warp Pad. As he began descending the perilous peaks, soaring on happy thoughts, he looked back to the giant woman.

“You comin’?”

“You go on ahead. We’ll be there soon,” Opal assured him.

As he continued falling, laughing, and soaring on the winds, Opal unfused. It was a slow, careful parting of their combined essences – and after the shimmering light and wind passed, two Gems stood.

Relieved from their almost unbearable worrying of Steven, Amethyst stared at Pearl, lips quivering.

Tears pricked at the corner of Pearl’s eyes, a shy hand cupped around her mouth.

“You _love_ him…” They both accused the other, pointing shaking fingers.

“He… Told you how he felt about me?” Amethyst asked, recalling Pearl’s memory of Steven, _confiding_ in her.

“He… _Really_ feels that way about me?” Pearl asked, remembering a quiet moment with Steven, through Amethyst’s eyes.

“And you-”

“And _you,”_ Amethyst interrupted Pearl, laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“You-”

“ _We love him.”_


	7. Tourmaline, Sound Warrior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fledgling fusion fumbles about, uncovering some hidden feelings...

“ _St-Steven… I wish for you to fuse with me. I need you to show me what it’s like.”_

Steven had asked her why. He wasn’t offended, merely shocked – but his expression betrayed himself, and Peridot blushed, ashamed.

“ _Since I’ve arrived on Earth, I… Haven’t fused, with anyone! I-I mean, Garnet offered, and I accepted initially, but… I-”_

His stare cut her off. She got uncomfortable, and he told her - “those things can happen” - hugging her tight. Steven pulled up his singlet, and took a moment to stare at his own Gem, as if to look to Rose for guidance.

“I’ll show ya.”

His tone was chipper now, feeling a calming presence nearby. A trainer, leader, and friend – Garnet. She circled Peridot and Steven as they made their way to Mister Smiley’s Arcade, staying out of the smaller Gem’s sight, knowing she’d only make her feel more uncomfortable.

Mister Smiley was managing his Arcade as usual, and narrowed his gaze as Steven walked in, a Gem in hand. Though his smile never faltered, Steven could tell the man was wary of him.

“Steven, welcome! I trust you and your friend aren’t here to raise any trouble at my expense?” He questioned, raising his eyebrows at the pair. Peridot quirked her head at him, ready to retaliate – only to have her mouth covered by Steven’s hand.

“No sir, Mister Smiley! We’re actually here to demo your latest dancing game!” Steven declared, stars in his eyes. Relaxing, the arcade owner chuckled, and slapped Steven on his back, leading him towards the new machine.

“You’re in luck – I’ve had this one for about a week now and no one’s touched it! You two will be the first to dance on the GrooveMaster 128!”

Peridot squeezed Steven’s hand as she eyed the extravagant console – the bright, blaring lights, and the flashy, fast music, _assaulting_ her senses. Mister Smiley gave a brief introduction to the machine’s usage before leaving the pair, not noticing two small Gems skipping past him.

Ruby and Sapphire re-fused as the owner darted out of earshot, staying in Peridot’s blind spots.

“Okay, you catch all of that, Peri?” Steven asked her, squeezing her hand back. She swallowed a lump in her throat, and nodded to him, confident in her ability to operate the machine. They each took place upon the machine’s dance pads, Peridot on the right, and Steven on the left.

“Awesome! What song do you want to dance to?” Steven asked, slipping two tokens in the box containing the game. Immediately the two were deafened by a bass drop, and the main menu music. The fast beat pounded through Peridot’s chest, agitating her already building worry.

“Wh-why go through all this trouble? C-can’t we just dance and fuse without all this noise?” She asked, Steven barely making her voice out through the game’s tune.

“Because you need to lose yourself within the moment, Peridot! For a fusion to last, and for it to… Feel… _Good…_ Well, we need to make sure you’re having fun!” the boy boasted, thumping his fist against his chest, looking to the song selection.

“So… What song do you wanna pick?”

Peridot groaned, letting her shoulders slump, darting over the selection with disinterest. She pumped her feet against the dance pad, gleaming through the five second previews.

“All of these sound the same! How am I suppose to lose myself if all this music sounds like garbage!?” She roared, stamping harder and harder on the dance pad, gritting her teeth at the hard-hitting, pumping house tracks.

Steven put a hand on her shoulder, and she huffed at him, stopping her stamping. As the preview for the next song came on, her ears twitched, and she took a deep breath in.

“O-oh my… This… This one doesn’t sound awful!”

“Galaxy Girl, the Eventualizer Remix?” Steven read the title aloud, digging the beat as well.

“TIMES UP, AUTOMATIC START!” The machine blared, kicking the song into starting gear. As the beat began, Peridot grabbed Steven’s hand again, thinking of their moments together, trying to ignore the fusion she was about to partake in.

The vocals, chords and leading synth punched into the song after the first fill, hitting Steven and Peridot in the chest like a shot to the heart, making their legs wobble. Cautious and slow at first, they danced along, slowly getting into Galaxy Girl’s rhythm.

“ _Be my… Galaxy Girl!”_ the song cried, the voice clear and robotic. Slowly Peridot felt the groove set in, and before she knew it, she was smiling, giggling – alongside Steven. Their shoulders shook with a wonky groove, and their feet stamped to the time, lighting up the dance pads beneath them like a piece of ancient Homeworld tech.

Much to her dismay, the song only lasted for 3 minutes, and they were granted the rank of D, souring Peridot’s mood.

“Aww, come on! We were doing great!” She growled, stamping on the machine again. Steven calmed her, and slid two more tokens in, picking Galaxy Girl again.

“Come on, we’ve got it, Peri! One more try – I’m sure we can get an A rank!”

“Don’t knock yourself down Steven, we can easily score an S! Let’s kick this machine’s butt!”

And so they danced again, prepared this time for Galaxy Girl’s sonic onslaught. They anticipated the boom of the bass drum, the snap of the snares, and the whimsical wailings of the robot voice, trying it’s best to sound futuristic.

“ _Be my… Galaxy Girl~!”_ It sung again, the screen flashing with more eyecandy this time, sparkles flying everywhere at Peridot’s beat-perfect pad-punching. Her eyes lit with joy, and she kept her dance up, darting a gaze over to Steven, who was already staring back, laughing.

They said nothing, eyes glued on each other as they flipped stances, bodies facing each other directly now. They anticipated the directions the song would throw at them, using their peripheries to guide their steps. As the song reached it’s second beat drop, their Gems began to glow.

Peridot grew uncertain, but wiped the worry from her mind, watching as Steven’s smile softened, feeling the love spread from his pink aura.

“Come on Peri – count the beat with me! 1, 2, 3-!”

“1, 2, 3-!” Peridot counted, stopping as she gave up her inner light to Steven, ceasing to be.

Garnet gasped as the two short Gems were replaced by a brilliant, pink and green glow. It shimmered, wobbling to the rhythm of the game’s music, before finally settling on a form. They resumed jumping back from pad to pad, hitting the pads with breakneck speed and precision, cackling happily.

The fusion between Steven and Peridot was tall, surprisingly so, and cocky. It had two legs, striped with Peridot’s green, and Steven’s skin, spiralling all the way up to their broad, bulky chest. Their hair was bouncy and full, streaked with a neon green amidst blonde. In the centre of their chest was a third arm, which appeared to be connected to a rotating ring on their chest.

Garnet’s tried to focus her vision on the lightning-quick fusion, in silent awe.

“Oh my… A fast one...” Garnet mumbled, a dumb grin spreading across her face.

“Galaxy… Girl… And, PERFECT!” They stomped, arms crossed over their chest, snickering at the “S” rank on the screen.

“See? I’d expect nothing less from us! Good work, Steven! You too, Peri-wait a minute...” They mumbled to themselves, staring down at their shivering, lengthy digits. Slowly, Garnet approached the combined pair, hands outstretched and shaking.

“H-how are you feeling?” The new fusion asked themselves, testing the rotation of their torso, and the extra appendage that was attached to it.

“G-good, I think! I-I mean, yeah! I’m… What do you think we should call ourselves?” Peridot’s half asked, unable to contain her grin. The new fusion leapt in shock as Garnet reached her arms around them, hugging tight.

“You two should call yourselves _beautiful…_ You’re like a big, juicy watermelon!” Garnet chuckled, blushing deeply. The fusion yelped, and wormed it’s way out of Garnet’s grip, putting some distance between themselves.

“W-woah, hey-Oh, Garnet! How are you!? I’m great, as you can see! And hah, thank you for the compliment!” The new fusion thanked, with a simultaneous bow and curtsy, full of pride. Their expression quickly grew worried as the identity crisis set in, glowing with a shivering light.

“B-but seriously-what’s a good name? I’m thinking Watermelon Quartz – is that a real Gemstone? Certainly isn’t one I’ve ever heard of, but what would I know? Hah! I want something green, but pink, you know? I mean, Garnet, you knew what to name yourself when you first appeared right? Also is the music too loud? I think it might-”

“Shut up,” Garnet whispered, wiping a stray tear from her eyes as the music from the video game died down. She grabbed the fellow fusion by it’s shoulders, and continued smiling, laughing to herself, “How about Tourmaline?”

“Hmmm… Tour, T, T, Tourma-Tour-Tour… Tourmaline! I like it! A great recommendation, Garnet!” The newly named fusion tested the name on it’s lips, twirling it’s rotating arm in a bout of manic thought. It hugged Garnet, before taking stride out of Mister Smiley’s arcade, a bounce in their step, and a literal song in their heart.

“Where are you going?” Garnet asked Tourmaline, incredulous.

“No clue! Also can’t hear you, I think the song’s following me!” Tourmaline answered with a flutter of their wrist, bopping in step to the ethereal dance song that flowed from their chest, resounding outwards in a sonic illusion.

Garnet followed them closely, third eye creased in quiet concern.

“Gosh, where to go, where to go!? I wanna show Lapis, but I also want to show Connie! Do you think either of them would be jealous? I mean, of course, even slightly – Lapis can be judgemental, and Connie didn’t know about this beforehand! Oh, I’m sure I’m worrying too much, here, I’ll hit myself to knock the worry out of me!” Tourmaline declared, cycling their third arm round and round, before landing a punch squarely in their own gut.

They and Garnet were blown back by a bassy, sonic wave, the air blasting out of their lungs. The wood of Beach City’s piers creaked and hissed, before crumbling entirely against the weight of Tourmaline.

“Yikes! Was that us? Oh, WOW! We have powers of aural destruction!? Oh, our chest must be a bass drum! And our hands, can they do anything!? Hm – let’s try it!” Tourmaline stared around, catching no sight of any citizens, and aimed their hands upwards, tongue poking out in deep concentration.

“Sonic blast! Nope, didn’t work – how about… Soundwave! Oh come on, nothing!? This works all the time in superhero manga!” Tourmaline grunted, kicking at nothing on the ground, deep in thought. They brought all three hands to rub their chin, trying to deepen their concentration, before their gems began to glow again.

“I’ve got it! How about… _Galaxy Girl_!” They roared, an eruption of high-pitched square waves sounding out from their palms, spewing forth a continuous disruption of the air around them, shaking the pier to it’s supports.

“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh! IS ANYONE SEEING THIS!?” Tourmaline cackled, deafened by their own powers. Pieces of wood, telephone poles, and the sand of the beach starting ripping upwards from the ground, encircling the pillar of sonic annihilation that Tourmaline still held steady.

“I’M HEARIN’ IT! TOURMALINE, QUIT IT!” Garnet barked, desperately trying to shield her ears from the screaming square waves, taking cautious steps towards the new fusion. Tourmaline took sight of their fellow fusion, squinted, and tried to make out the words they were mouthing.

“HUH!? I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER HOW LOUD OUR WICKED NEW POWERS ARE! YOU’LL HAVE TO SCREAM REAL LOUD!” As pieces of debris started whipping about in the air, Garnet took a step back, and frowned with worry, trying to find an opening to tackle Tourmaline down.

“CLOSE YOUR HANDS, TOURMALINE!”

“WHAT!?” Tourmaline tried to cup their hands around one of their ears, only to be _rocketed_ out to sea by the force of their own sonic wave. Instantly the sound of the square waves died down, replaced by a louder, scared screech. Unable to control their descent, or _ascent_ for that matter, Tourmaline began skidding around the seas, like a deflating balloon let loose.

“WooOOOOOAAH! LAPIIIIIS! CONNIE!”

Garnet lowered her ear’s defences, and sighed with quiet relief, eyes glued on the flying fusion. She shielded her ears again as Tourmaline screamed for assistance, but didn’t flinch as a portal opened to her right.

“Connie! Nice to see you!” Greeted the perma-fusion.

“G-Garnet! I had Lion bring me here as soon as I heard the – is that-” Connie dismounted the pink Lion, stuffing some study notes into her pockets as she prepared herself for the upcoming mission.

“Steven and Peridot, fusion – they’re called Tourmaline. They have-”

“IS THAT CONNIE!? TELL HER I SAID HI! ALSO ASK HER IF SHE CAN HELP US OUT!”

“-a volume control problem!?” Connie yelled to Garnet, blocking her ears as the synth soundwave came crashing into them. Shadowing over the human, the Gem, and the lion, Lapis Lazuli landed, her watery wings retreating into her back.

“I’m here! What’d I miss-is that Peridot?” Lapis asked, tilting her head in confusion.

“She and Steven fused – they go by Tourmaline – I need you two to-”

“WOAH, LAPIS TOO? DID SHE DO SOMETHING WITH HER HAIR? I LIKE IT!” Tourmaline screamed, flailing about as Mister Smiley and the Fryman family took to the piers, tracing the source of the aural insanity.

Lapis Lazuli cupped her hands around her mouth, prepared to shout back. Garnet simply slapped her hands over the Gem’s mouth, and shook her head.

“Enough of that. Lapis – I need you to gather Tourmaline in a big ball of water, like you do. And Connie – I need you to ride Lion to the centre of that bubble – get him to roar those two apart!” She ordered, sending them forth. Connie and Lapis nodded, taking off to the sea and sky, respectively.

“C’mon, Lion!”

“I’m coming, guys!”

Two hands shot forth from the raging, warping seas, cupping around Tourmaline. The new fusion exclaimed in shock, the sphere vibrating at a rapid rate as their destructive soundwave was temporarily muted. Lapis struggled to keep the ball formed, straining against the fusion’s combined aural might.

Connie strode confidently with Lion, skipping past the roaring waves, diving through the powerful portals her mount was creating for them. With strong leaps, the Lion created a final portal leading into the bubble itself, taking a deep breath in preparation.

“Hurry! I can’t hold this for too long!” Lapis yelled, her own wings faltering under the stress of the vibrations.

“Hold on!” Connie yelled, disappearing into the bubble, holding a deep breath.

“CLLLNLLL!” Tourmaline mumbled into the muffling water, waving a happy hand at their friend, accidentally blasting her back with a sonic push. Lion roared as they were launched out of the water bubble, and it collided with the fusion, knocking them back.

A shimmer of white light followed, and Lapis groaned with relief, cupping the battered, unfused Steven and Peridot in two conjured hands. Connie landed safely with Lion, and they returned to the shore, thankful for the relative silence that followed their sensory onslaught.

As Lapis unceremoniously dumped Steven and Peridot on the beach, she collapsed alongside them, panting as she stared into the sky. Garnet checked up on the group, and gave them her thumbs-up, grinning gleefully. Steven and Peridot stared at one another, stars in their eyes, and laughed as the fatigue began setting into them.

“Lapis, Connie, thank you! Did you see how awesome we looked?” Peridot took Lapis’ hand, smiling from ear-to-ear, giggling like a madman.

“I did… Heh, you two looked great together...” Lapis mumbled, not fully into the conversation. However, she smiled still at her barn-mate and friend, blushing a deep blue.

Steven hugged Connie and Lion, kissing both on their foreheads, sighing with relief.

“HOW AWESOME WAS THAT!?” He screamed, unable to contain his own excitement.

“Steven, I-I think you have some hearing damage!” Connie yelled back at him, wincing at his words, but chuckling all the same.

“AW GEE, THANKS CONNIE, YOU TOO!” He roared, hugging the girl again, his muscles roaring with strain. He broke their embrace, and looked at Peridot, who turned her gaze back to him. They smiled, laughed, and went to hug each other, before being separated by Garnet.

“I’m glad you two had fun, but let’s not do that for a while.”

“Agreed! My ears are _incredibly_ sore!” Peridot twinkled, still smiling in spite of her pain.

“STILL! How good did it feel to dance as Tourmaline, Peri!?” Steven asked, taking her hands in his. She giggled, stamping her feet energetically, and nodded to him.

“It was so fun! I’ve never felt _sound_ like our own before! Oh, and don’t get me started on the memory-sharing functionality of fusion! I can’t believe we saw into each other’s minds like that!”

Steven’s heart sunk at the revelation. He shared a brief look with Connie, who clutched to Lion tightly, eyes wide at the implications of Peridot’s words.

“Memory what now?” Lapis mumbled, quirking an eyebrow up in suspicion.

“Memory-sharing! Did you know that Steven didn’t brush his teeth this morning?”

“O-okay Peridot, that’s enough-”

“Or that Steven thinks Connie’s got the best butt he’s ever seen!?” Peridot continued, still running on the adrenaline high from Tourmaline’s inception, laughing at her own words.

“PERIDOT!” Connie yelled, her other arm clenched tightly on Steven’s shoulder.

“Or that Steven’s got romantic feelings for us, Lapis!” Peridot cackled, clenching her stomach against her own roaring crash of laughter. She wiped a happy tear from her eye as Garnet stared at Steven, who kept his gaze on Peridot.

Peridot then stopped laughing, her cheeks burning with a harsh heat.


	8. Move Past, Think Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie helps Steven tackle some issues he's been having as of late.

Steven kicked in his sleep. He moaned, face scrunched tight, eyes nailed shut. His stomach flipped, uneasy, unsettled, and unrelenting in it’s torture. He awoke with a cry, throwing himself against the side of his newly-formed bubble shield.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t want to hurt anyone!” He repeated, breath shaking, body aching.

He stared to his girlfriend’s bed, set up only inches away from his, separate at Pearl and Priyanka’s request. Connie had awoken immediately after he did, her face pressed against the shield’s surface. They shared a brief look with one another, before the bubble poofed, leaving her in his arms.

Steven let his tears fall as Connie came to him, embracing him without question, stroking his back the way he liked it.

“Eyeball?” Connie asked him, straddling his lap and clearing the sweat-matted hair from his face. Hot tears streaking his cheeks, Steven shook his head, and took a deep breath, keeping his gaze locked on Connie.

“B-Bismuth,” He answered, one hand wrapped around Connie’s waist, and the other clutching his shimmering Gem. Connie nodded, and kissed him on his forehead, pressing his head against her chest.

“Last call from her was received after dinner, and she popped by from her forge to visit us… 3 hours after that? Bismuth is okay,” Connie notified, a clear and fatigued drawl to her voice.

“I-I know...” He uttered, his stomach settling quickly in his girlfriend’s presence.

“I love you, Connie.”

“I love you too, Steven...” She mumbled, pressing her lips against his forehead again. He blinked the tears away from his eyes, and lied back down, taking Connie with him.

They couldn’t get to sleep – he rarely _could_ after an episode. Connie and him had talked for a while, with Greg, as human beings – when these episodes started occurring. Guilt bubbled the memories within the boy’s mind, and ever since the age of 14, memories had begun to replay themselves.

The first was the ejection of Eyeball, the Ruby who had found herself trapped in space with Steven after their sortie on Earth’s moon. It dragged him back, back to the cold void of space, his skin exposed and eyes watered as he failed to reason with the indoctrinated Gem.

The muscles gripped and tore within his body as he threw Eyeball away from him, leaving her to flail about in space forever.

Of course, he knew she had been saved. That she had further pinned the guilt of the murder of Pink Diamond on him, during his court sentencing. Steven knew that Eyeball now took residence as Garnet’s understudy.

His subconscious didn’t quite care for the “now”.

It replayed Pink’s shattering, completely fabricated as it was, in excruciating detail – detail _he wasn’t alive to record_. The shock of Pink’s face as Rose’s sword struck clean through her – Pearls’ hand guiding it through her Diamond. The silence that followed, as crowds looked on in horror, and the tell-tale “poof” of destabilisation.

The “clink” of Gem fragments.

The final thought was of his own hands, chubby and burnt, striking clean through Bismuth’s form, poofing her. He felt his throat clench in suspense – the _heat_ of Bismuth’s vile forge, where the Breaking Point was developed.

The last words to leave his lips, in that memory - “I’m sorry.”

Bismuth was fine now. Reformed, relaxed, and no doubt reclining under a hot magma bath. They had come to peace with one another, and made friends – _allies_.

Yet still, his brain taunted him. Forced him to watch as he struggled to fill the shoes of his mother before him. Showing him that he was unprepared and unable to face the realities of leadership on his own, still desperately clinging to his innocence.

He breathed again, staring to the rising sun with disdain.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, particularly to Connie. She hugged him tighter, and sat up, smiling at him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He held a hand on her waist, ever grateful for the blessing in his life that was Connie Maheswaran. They stared at each other for a little bit, smiling, before Connie stood up from his bed, sliding a pair of dirty rain-boots on.

“C’mon,” she implored.

(…)

They arrived, sitting atop a grassy cliff, waiting for the sun to rise, and warm them. They sat quite a bit away from each other, legs splayed, their toes touching – a recent yet surprisingly effective form of calming themselves.

The “Foot Circle”, they had dubbed it.

They stared into the other for a moment or two, before shutting their eyes, focusing on their breathing.

“Breathe in,” Connie said.

They took in two deep breaths, thinking on what caused them stress.

Their fighting. Pearl’s training. Connie’s study. Steven’s dreams. The ant that just started nibbling at their toes.

“Breathe out,” She spoke again.

What made them happy?

The birds, quietly chirping in the salty air. The brush and tickle of grass on their calves. The coffee Steven would bring Connie after school. The warmth of the hug Connie would grace Steven with in the middle of the night.

They opened their eyes, a twinkling sensation in their toes, and smiled to the other. The sun peaked it’s head over the horizon, bathing Beach City in it’s first hazy orange glow for the day. Steven and Connie poured their emotions out to one another – Connie was stressed by her mother’s overbearing gaze on her grades, pelted by the training Pearl had been assigning her – it just made her want to scream!

And so, within their circle, she did, knowing she wouldn’t be judged by Steven.

In turn, Steven shared with her, not for the first time, his growing feelings towards the Gems. The way he’d catch himself staring at them, since he hit puberty. About how it pained him to have those feelings, even as his long-time best friend _and_ girlfriend sat there and smiled.

Connie knew the Gems felt the same about him. They didn’t admit it – wouldn’t admit it, at least, not without something screaming at them to do so. It was the little things she’d picked up on – like Garnet sparing a glance every now and then, scanning Steven’s body as he’d go through an exercise with Pearl, laying her hands on him for a little longer than usual…

Or it was the big things, like with Amethyst…

(...)

_Connie awoke to the sound of sobbing. Fatigued out of her wits, still nursing her broken leg, she immediately went to wrap Steven in her arms tighter. It was after a few seconds that she realised it wasn’t her boyfriend crying, but someone at their stairs._

_Her hair was ragged, her Gem glowing wistfully, and her usually calm, carefree demeanour had been replaced with a wash of grief, and worry. Noticing she’d been caught, Amethyst went to careen down the stairs, only to be stopped by Connie’s voice._

“ _Hey,” she uttered, quiet as to not wake anyone else, “Amethyst, are you okay?”_

_Amethyst slowly turned back to Connie, wiping her tears on her sleeve._

“ _N-no… W-was afraid to… To leave him-you guys...” She mumbled, trying to calm herself. Connie sighed, and shifted back in the bed, clearing space between her and Steven. With a keen, confused eye, Amethyst kept track of the human’s slow, subtle movements, noticing the hole she had created was perfectly Amethyst-sized._

“ _Hop in. And get comfy.”_

_With great apprehension, Amethyst did so. They shared the night together, Connie’s arms wrapped around Amethyst’s waist, as Amethyst buried her sobbing face into Steven’s back._

“ _I… I didn’t want to leave him alone with Jasper. I-I knew he’d be fine, b-but… Geez, you must think I’m a mess...” The defective Gem grumbled, sniffling and craning her head back to whisper to Connie. Amethyst gasped as she felt Connie’s hand brush her cheek, wiping the tears from her cheeks._

“ _You aren’t a mess. You’re strong. So much stronger than you give yourself credit for...” Connie cooed, smiling lazily at the Gem. Amethyst felt the heat rise to her cheeks, and she sniffed, regaining a bit of composure. She shifted her body around, and wrapped Connie in a tight hug, careful not to hurt the human’s leg._

_As if on instinct, the near-dead-asleep Steven Universe flipped himself over, and spooned Amethyst from behind. She locked up, her eyes bulging out of her head in quiet fear, hoping she hadn’t been caught. Scanning Connie’s eyes, Amethyst sighed with relief as Connie hugged her back._

“ _Stay with us tonight, Amethyst. Even if it’s just to remind yourself that we won’t leave you,” she whispered. The warmth pressed against her back, and Steven’s nose, resting against her hair, Amethyst struggled to rest, let alone respond._

_She opened her mouth, and let the words die in her throat, as fatigue took over._

_Connie awoke that morning to an empty bed, noticing Steven had taken residence on the spare mattress – probably to keep his promise for Pearl. He didn’t say anything – didn’t note anything unusual about the night prior, but couldn’t get the scent of rain away from his nose._

_Before she left to go back to her house, Connie shared a hug with Amethyst – one that let the runt-Gem know that things were going to be okay._

_Maybe even a bit better._

(…)

Amethyst had become less covert in her snooping. She’d openly stare at Steven, eyes glued to his massive frame as he’d walk out of the shower, hoping she’d somehow find herself in his arms again.

Of course, Steven had an inkling the Gems felt the same way he did. He was no stranger to the affection of the opposite sex (or was it species?) - heck, even the _same sex_ in Kevin’s case.

‘ _Stupid Kevin,’_ Steven would think to himself, losing his track of thought, ignoring Amethyst’s open eye intrigue. Pearl would then be behind Amethyst, staring all the same, but shaming the smaller Gem for it.

C onnie observed this all, staring at the Gems and Steven, likening them to crouched tigers – all ready to  _pounce_ , yet all afraid of the others – as if striking would leave them vulnerable,  _hurt_ them. And yes, it was true that she loved Steven – was  _in love_ with him, however you might spin it –  they  _were_ boyfriend and girlfriend, after all.

And yet, delving into Steven’s mind as Stevonnie, she grew to accept these feelings – and she certainly understood them prior. The Gems were attractive, mysterious beings from outer space, who after some time cared little for hiding or masking their emotions. They loved each other as family, and that love had clearly grown.

Blossomed into something more beautiful.

Yet still guilt had clung to Steven’s heart – Connie had spoken with him, and talked him through his feelings, yet it remained. He’d experienced Connie’s acceptance, even  _eagerness_ to try the new experiences with the Gems, and yet, guilt hung from his shoulders.

Guilt she now shared with him, in their Foot Circle. Though Connie felt a fire stir within her as Steven’s expression changed, determination brewing in his core. He smiled to her, again, scratching his head.

“I told Pearl how I felt about Amethyst, and… Amethyst, how I felt about Pearl. I asked them both to keep quiet about it...”

“And? How’d it go?”

“They…” a familiar, cold knot grew in their stomachs, “Pearl was jealous. She tried to hide it, but she… She seemed happy about it, in the end… I tried to tell her what I felt about _her_ after that, b-but… I couldn’t find the words...”

“And Amethyst?” Connie asked.

“She took it better. But the more the conversation went on, the more I questioned _why_ I did it in the first place! It’s just… I think it’s made things worse between us, even just a little...” 

Connie nodded, and breathed deep, calming herself so that Steven would feel it too.

“You made a step in the right direction, getting it out there. Rejection or not, they’ll still be your friends. They’ll still love you. _I’ll_ still love you.  You know that, right?” Connie asked, smiling sweetly to her Steven. A harsh blush tinged his cheeks, and he smiled back to her, nodding.

“You’re right… I just need to keep reminding myself of that. I love you, Connie.”

“I love you too, Steven.”

He moved to stand up, but was held down, and sat back in his place.

“Not so fast! You still have to tell me what your plans for Bismuth are, Steven...”


	9. Love Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...In which the Gems learn to love like she did. Like he does.

_If I could begin to be_  
Half of what you think of me  
I could do about anything  
I could even learn how to love 

_Like you._

* * *

 

(...)

“WHERE IS HE!?” Amethyst roared, holding Connie by her collar.

“I told you already, Amethyst – I don’t know!”

“AMETHYST, LET GO OF HER!” Pearl yelled, breaking the two up. The once-servant Gem ringed her hands, and sighed, a tight neurotic knot twisting in her chest.

“Listen, Connie – Steven has said some...”

“I know what he said, Pearl – and you have to believe that _I don’t know where he is!”_ Connnie shouted back, hair a mess, voice high with offence taken. Amethyst, still scowling, broke her gaze from the young student.

“I’m sorry. But he… Damn it, it’s infuriating! He gushes about how much he loves me to Pearl – how much he loves _Pearl_ to me, and then vanishes!? I haven’t seen him in two days – and Garnet’s still on her mission...” Amethyst fretted about, cracking her knuckles, trying to walk off her anger.

“I thought we shared everything. Obviously I was wrong. Again,” Pearl accentuated, blinking past some tears, swallowing the growing lump on his throat.

“Guys – I’m worried about him too! You two just need to calm down and take a minute to investigate this, okay?” She asked them both, putting hands on both their shoulders. Pearl wiped the tears from her eyes, and nodded. Amethyst put a hand on Connie’s, and sighed, nodding as well.

“Good. Let’s get a map of Steven’s most visited places in Beach City. We’ll fan out and search those,” Connie suggested, getting to action and rifling through the Gem’s bookshelves, to find a map of Beach City.

“Oh, we could also map potential warp-pad locations too!” Pearl suggested, joining Connie in her search for a cheap map they could mark. Amethyst stared idly at the two, and noticed a tuft of pink fur, darting about outside.

“...Or, we could find out where Lion’s running off to at this time of day,” Amethyst noted, taking off in pursuit of the pink feline. Pearl and Connie darted off after Amethyst, bringing their maps with them as they skidded out the temple.

Lion, fully sprinting, darted a wary gaze back to the speeding group, and continued his charge, looking as suspicious as a Lion could be…

(…)

“I knew you’d come here,” Garnet intoned, crushing a corrupted Gem between her gauntlets, bubbling and warping it away to the Burning Room.

She stood where the Watermelon Stevens had built their home, on a remote island in the middle of nowhere. Garnet didn’t even look behind her to know who it was – his heavy footfalls, sighs, and even the creak and twist of his muscles gave him away.

“They’re going to find you eventually,” Garnet continued, her third eye creased in quiet sorrow.

“I know,” Steven said to her, his voice laden with fatigue. She finally turned back, and hugged him tight. Steven wrapped his arms around her, and sighed again, scanning the horizon for his Watermelon-kin.

“I won’t badger you with questions. I have just two,” she said, breaking away from him, “One – do you love me, and two – do you love Ruby and Sapphire?” she asked.

“... _Yes._ ” He uttered, tears falling from his eyes as he said so.

“You feel like you’re betraying Connie. Betraying us?” She clarified, removing her visor to stare directly at the young man. He took gaze into the red of Ruby’s eyes, and the blue of Sapphire’s, trying to catch the words in his throat.

“I feel guilt, Garnet! I feel guilty that I even… H-have these feelings, especially for Pearl!” He moaned, voice low and weak. He clutched to her tightly, sobbing as she stroked his back.

“Why should you? Pearl has many features a human would conside-”

“She’s… You guys have always been like moms to me! But e-ever since I saw _you_ reunite after that fight at the diner, I...”

Garnet remained silent, her two inner halves talking amongst themselves, staring at Steven.

“I’ve been thinking about… Some… I-I’ve been thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking about!” He yelled, wiping the tears from his face. Garnet nodded to him.

“But not just me or Pearl. Amethyst, Peridot, Lapis, and Jasper, too?” Garnet clarified once more, her tone hushed, yet neutral.

“B-B-Bismuth, as well...”

“Yikes,” Garnet replied, chuckling to alleviate the boy’s tension.

“I can understand that, Steven. You’ve spent your whole life with us, and it feels weird to have these feelings, I get that,” Garnet began, brushing a long, lazy lock out of the man’s face, “but what I don’t get is why you’re running away from this.”

She finished speaking with a knowing smile, her purple eye twinkling in delight. Steven was taken aback, the fear and guilt in his heart replaced with anticipation.

“G-Garnet?”

“Time flows like a river. Usually, I see a lot of bad paths, and only a few good ones,” Garnet explained to him, closing her red and blue eyes, leaving her lone centre eye to stare at Steven.

“On this day, I have seen nothing but good things. I’ve poured every last bit of willpower into thinking about this, and at first, coming to terms with it,” She went on, opening Ruby’s eye, full of tricky, playful energy.

“C-coming to terms with…” The words died in Steven’s throat as Garnet opened Sapphire’s eye – full of allure, knowing and _waiting_.

“You had to run away at first. Deep down, a part of you wanted _this_ to happen – to be with us all. And I saw the timelines, followed the flow of time until I saw where we ended up...”

(…)

Soaring over the ocean waters, Lapis held Peridot close to her chest, keeping her eyes on the sky ahead of them. Peridot would yell out a command, adjusting their course further and further as their target evaded them.

“So...”

“So what?” Peridot asked Lapis, who was biting her lip, averting her gaze.

“So we’re not going to say anything about him _running_ away from us like that?” Lapis asked, suddenly feeling a lot smaller. Peridot kept her eyes on the touchscreen tablet, and the tracking software she was viewing, sighing.

“The Crystal Gems are good at doing that. Us included, Lapis...” Peridot whined, sighing again as Lapis straightened their course for the final time that afternoon.

“This isn’t about life or death! I-I mean… What did you see when you were fused with him, Peridot? What did he… _Feel_ about us? What would make him so _scared_ that he would run away?” Lapis asked, her pitch rising as she grew more agitated.

She couldn’t hear the sound of tears, sliced in the wind, nor the quiet sniffles of the green Gem in her hands.

“He _loves_ us. The way I-I saw it, in his memories… He wants to build a family with us. Like Rose Quartz did with Greg...” Peridot mumbled, clutching a tight hand around Lapis’, “he ran away because he was afraid of losing us. Afraid of _offending_ us, at the _thought_ of not loving us as fully as he could...”

Soft tears fell on Peridot’s head, and for a moment, she craned her head up to the clouds, thinking they were about to head into a storm cloud. Lapis refused to stare at Peridot, blinking away the tears.

“Why? Why does he… Why would he love me like that? I-I’ve hurt him, I’ve _hurt his friends_ , I almost destroyed-” Lapis was silenced by Peridot, who pressed her lips against her cheek, crying too. Peridot broke quickly, cupping where she’d laid her lips.

“You’re his _friend, Lapis._ He _loves you,_ ” She beamed.

Seconds of silence passed, then Lapis could only laugh, hugging the smaller Gem tightly as they sped.

“I love you, Peri...” Lapis whispered, kissing Peridot on her cheek too.

“I love you too, Lapis...” Peridot whispered back, eyes gluing back to her screen.

(…)

“B-but Garnet, you were a-always… I thought Ruby and Sapphire were happy just by themselves!” Steven protested, his heart clenching, threatening to beat out of his chest. Garnet smiled to him still, and nodded.

“They are. They also love you, Steven. They… We’re willing to try something...” Garnet phased into a brilliant purple light – sensually separating into her smaller halves. At his age and height, the two Gems, though powerful and scary in their own rights, only came up to his knee.

“R-Ruby! Sapphire!” Steven yelled, crouching, and wrapping the two in a hug. They hugged back in kind, Ruby blushing an intense red, arms tight around the boy.

“It’s good to see you too, Steven,” Sapphire intoned, her clear, vibrant smile betraying the coolness of her voice. Steven parted from the two, and sat himself on the ground, to match their height.

“Wh-why did you two-”

“We split because we’d feel you’d understand it better with two voices, not one. Ruby?” Sapphire began, putting her hand on the soldier’s shoulder. With a suppressed chuckle, Ruby sat flat on her bum, legs splayed and palms crossed in her lap.

“We need to talk, Steven! We all do – all the Gems, all the Gems you want to, y’know...” Ruby continued, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. Sapphire sat herself next to Ruby, and kicked her legs out, rough and quickly.

“Right…” Steven prompted the two to continue.

“Your… I… I hate to say we were watching you – but we’ve been made aware of your Foot Circle, Steven,” Sapphire went on, staring to Ruby for a brief moment, before turning her gaze back to Steven.

“You-”

“I-It was an accident, honest! B-but… We did figure out that it would help us today!” Ruby defended themselves immediately, arms up innocently enough for Steven to let them continue.

“The Circle will create a forum. A place where we can all put our thoughts forward, and have them heard equally. A place where you can finally settle your worries – and where we can...” Dark blues kissed the seer-Gem’s cheeks, in a hushed blush.

“I think it’s best if we wait for the others before we spoil anything,” Ruby quipped, holding Sapphire’s hand in hers, her grin stretching mischievously.

“The others?”

(…)

A pale blue fist erupted from the sands of the Watermelon Island, clutching at nothing, before launching itself upwards. In a flurry of scattered sand and whipping winds, Bismuth appeared, taking a deep breath, squinting at the sun. She flicked her rainbow dreads around, shaking the dirt and sand off herself, and lent a hand to the hand that followed hers – an amber grasp.

With a grunt, Jasper appeared, dirt marring her striped skin and wild hair, panting heavily.

“Like I said, soldier – you can travel _smart_ , or you can travel _hard,”_ Bismuth snickered, patting Jasper on her shoulder as she led the Gem into the jungles of the island. Jasper could only groan, trudging forward dutifully, keeping her senses sharp on lookout.

Bismuth looked to Jasper, then sighed, evaluating their surroundings. Once the word had gotten out that Steven had awkwardly, indirectly professed his love for the Crystal Gems, he was off, _gone_ in a flash, trying to avoid confronting his feelings.

It left the blacksmith and the warrior stunned, _confused_. Jasper criticised Steven – yes, _Steven_ , for his cowardice, and vowed to make him answer for his words. The confusion left her feeling _vulnerable_ – she couldn’t stand it.

She needed a straight answer, and _action_ from the 18-year old. How could he face the warped forms of their Gem comrades without fail, without harm or fear, but shock himself into running away with a few words?

‘ _Three words...’_ Bismuth thought, her mood quietly falling. Three words - “I love you”, resounding, _bouncing_ in the light-form of her ears, playing back in her mind.

“I love you,” she mouthed to herself, shaking her head as the breath escaped her lips. How could he love her? Sure – they’d been working together as a team for a while now, but to say he _loved_ her?

Bismuth wanted answers. Well,  _one_ answer to be exact. She didn’t want it to be real – to hope that she misheard the young lad when he professed to her. Jasper darted a swift gaze back to Bismuth, an nodded to her grunting deep in her throat. 

“...If I were the son of Rose Quartz, where would I be?” The blacksmith mused to herself, scanning the thick jungle’s treeline for signs of life, or disturbance of the local flora. Jasper chuckled, and shook her head.

“In the island’s heart,” she suggested, picking up her pace.

“Oh yeah? What makes you say that, soldier?” Bismuth asked, eyes trained on Jasper’s smirk.

“It’s Rose’s… Pink’s style. A heart - it’s as close to pink as we’re gonna find here... If there were roses here, I bet he’d be there, too,” she jested, now sprinting. Bismuth chuckled in kind, and took off after Jasper, trying to think of what she’d say to Steven when she finally caught him.

(…)

“The others, yes. _Connie_ …”

Connie arrived, with Pearl and Amethyst – upon Lion’s back. They strode forward from the portal the feline had shouted into existence, and opened their mouths to yell at Steven. Amethyst and Pearl, to express their anger, and Connie, to express her worry.

She hugged him, smiling in spite of her fear, and followed Sapphire’s orders to sit down, to the boy’s right.

“ _...Amethyst...”_

Amethyst’s heart clenched in queasy fear as she met Steven’s gaze – his skin glistening with an errant sweat, no doubt spurred on by the island’s heat. As he saw her, he blushed, and looked ashamed of himself. A swift, soft punch to his shoulder knocked him out of his stupor, and Amethyst giggled at him, sitting to his left.

“ _...Pearl...”_

Pearl, despite her earlier hunt that morning, reigned in her emotions. She could only stare on as Steven smiled with the others, before finally meeting his gaze. It was as if she was thrown back into the days before Greg met Rose – staring at Steven as she once did her Diamond.

She then stopped, before cracking a sad smile at the boy, knowing that things couldn’t go back to that. Not after all they had been through. Sapphire guided the Gem to her side, rubbing her back gently.

“ _...Lapis Lazuli...”_

Falling from the sky, eyes on her prize, Lapis and Peridot dropped like a bomb, impacting on the centre of the growing circle with great pain, moaning and groaning as they stood up. Their eyes darted around the group circling them, before they leapt up.

Lapis hugged Steven, swiftly joined by Peridot, and lingered with him for a few seconds, before Ruby parted the trio. She sat the Barn Mates next to Connie, leaving space enough for two Gems on the opposite side of the clearing.

“ _...Peridot...”_

Peridot stretched over Connie, rather rudely, and held Steven’s hand, yearning to be fused with him again – even for just a little bit of fun. After some minutes, she apologised to Connie, and the human girl responded in kind by gently stroking the smaller Gem’s hair.

“ _...Jasper...”_

Panting further, enervated, but calm, Jasper saw the circle, read the mood, and plopped herself down next to Amethyst, sitting opposite Pearl. She made quiet, boastful conversation with the runt-Gem, avoiding the gazes of both Lapis Lazuli and Steven, masking the deep, unsettling fear in her heart.

“ _...Bismuth...”_

Following suit, smiling toothily, Bismuth brought Ruby and Sapphire into a hug, sitting next to Ruby, opposite Lapis. She shook her head as she saw Steven, who couldn’t hide the distinctly human blush on his cheeks.

The way he smiled to her – so carefree, hopeful, and _innocent_ , despite all the things that had happened to him…

Bismuth swallowed a lump in her throat.

“Ahem,” Sapphire cleared her throat – and in that instant, everyone held their breaths, ceasing their conversations, snapping their gazes towards the cooler part of Garnet. She sat, hands collected in her lap for quiet meditation, her single eye focused on Steven.

“Welcome, everyone. I’m glad we could all meet like this,” She began, Ruby taking a hand in hers, smiling to her with five millennia of love in her eyes. Sapphire stared back to Ruby, and quelled the fearful ice that had clung to her dress.

“We’re here because of Steven. He loves us, and we love him,” She spoke again. As the words travelled through the air, Pearl, Bismuth and Jasper launched upwards, fingers pointing at a different gem. The urge to argue, to _clarify_ what kind of “love” Sapphire mentioned rose.

Then Sapphire held a hand up. They shut their mouths.

Then Ruby stood, arms out, her diplomatic face carefully carved and calm. Bismuth and Pearl sat back down, reluctantly, but Jasper stood.

“Please, leave your questions or queries til the end of what Sapphire has to say.”

And so Jasper sat, not quite knowing why she was obeying the Ruby’s orders.

“Thank you, Ruby. We love each other here. We may not understand it fully, or care to think about it. We’re gathered here today to bring that love to attention. To _know_ it,” Sapphire intoned, her smile growing again.

Without a word, she and Ruby kicked out their feet, Ruby’s boot brushing up against Sapphire’s slipper. They shared a soft giggle, and motioned to the rest of the group. Connie shared a look with Steven – wide-eyed and worried how the Gems gained knowledge of their Foot Circle, but Steven nodded back to her.

“Connect your feet, Gems and humans. Invite the feelings of those touching you, get to _know_ them.”

Steven did as he was told, feet outwards, already touching Connie’s by the time his calves had made contact with the Earth. The two shared a quick giggle, and smiled to each other. Connie calmed herself as she already felt Steven’s apprehension, coursing through him like ice in his veins.

Peridot and Lapis followed suit, then Amethyst, Pearl, and finally, Jasper. Bismuth remained guarded, and Sapphire turned to her, the connected, flowing emotions clouding her vision momentarily.

“Bismuth?”

“I… Ugh… What have I got to lose right?” She chuckled to the blue gem, voice hollow and woeful. Sapphire held her hand out, and gently grasped Bismuth’s burly digits. Feeling even just the _tranquillity_ from the seer-gem reassured her, and she scoffed, shaking her head.

Gingerly, her boots clinked against Jasper’s, and Sapphire’s slipper. Feeling the circle complete itself, the general mood lowered, the weight of everyone’s fear, despair, uncertainty, and anxiety crushing them all.

Out of the ten of them, Lapis remained sitting straight, sighing wistfully. She lingered her gaze on Sapphire, who visibly struggled under the agitation, trying to find her words.

“Now,” she uttered, her voice shaking, “Steven… I want you to close your eyes and think of home. Of your bed, after a long day of training and missions. Of Connie, waiting there for you, waiting to cuddle,” Sapphire uttered. Blinking away tears, Steven closed his eyes tight, and held Connie’s hand, visualising the memory in front of him.

Instantly the gathered gems and humans sighed with relief, like a warm afternoon’s breeze had swept their uncertainty out the window.

“We’re going to go around this circle, and pick a gem at random – to say something nice about them. We’ll do this until we want to discuss the real issue. Keep it short,” Sapphire commanded them, her calm supplementing the wave of Steven’s warmth.

“Ruby, I like your strong arms,” she began, giggling with her wife again. Sapphire then looked to Pearl, who snapped to attention and cleared her throat.

“Oh! Um… Jasper, the way you took down the last corrupted Tourmaline we fought?” She asked.

“What of it?” Jasper retorted, unfazed, guarding herself from the emotions of those around her.

“It… Well, that was one of the fastest missions I’ve ever had the pleasure of being on. I mean… You really took that thing down expertly – even when it started firing spikes, and-” Jasper held a hand up to the Pearl to silence her, and smiled.

“Thanks,” she muttered, nodding to Lapis, who sighed again before looking to Peridot.

“Peri, I like what you’ve been doing with your outfits lately. You look so cute in them.”

A dark green flush flooded the Peridot’s cheeks, and she stuttered, “R-really?”

Lapis nodded, and Peridot looked around to the rest of the group, who nodded in agreement as well.

“She’s right you know, I love seeing the team symbol anywhere – especially if it’s got you behind it, Tiny,” Bismuth added.

“W-wow… Heh, thanks guys… Um… Lapis, I like… I mean…” Peridot cleared her throat, fussing around with her clothes before reordering herself, “I can appreciate the methods you’re using in raising Pumpkin lately. She’s going to be a fine young gourd.”

Lapis snickered, and smiled, not even aware at the slowly raising mood, her own cheeks darkening with a blush.

“Thanks, Peri. I learn from the best.”

Connie cleared her throat as well, and stroked Steven’s hand.

“Steven… I like that no matter how bad I’m feeling, you always seem to find a way to make me smile,” she mumbled, rubbing the back of her head with a free hand. The warmth encircling the group grew, and Steven kissed her on her forehead, blushing bashfully.

“Thanks, Connie… Uh, hm… I like how you’re always there for me, even when things are tough...” He mumbled back, rubbing his head too. Connie let a small tear fall from her eye, and kissed Steven on his lips, restraining herself from deepening the embrace any further.

As the two broke, and saw the rest of the group staring at them, they cleared their throats, and allowed their embarrassment to fluctuate around their combined circle.

“U-uh… Amethyst?” Steven prompted her, shaking her out of her dazed stare.

“Uh… Pearl!”

“Yes, Amethyst?” Pearl asked, smiling.

“Uh… I like how you talk,” Amethyst spoke, making a face as if she didn’t understand what she was saying. Pearl blinked, then nodded, slowly.

“Thank you?”

“Jasper, your turn!” Amethyst declared, shutting her mouth thereafter.

“Isn’t this getting ridiculous? We all know why we came here, and he’s sitting right down next to us. We’ve been hunting him all damn day, and have nothing to show for it. Not one single _answer,”_ Jasper spat, staring daggers at Steven.

“We’re getting to that. Three more compliments left, and we can begin with questions. Yours will be the first Steven answers,” Sapphire spoke, her words quickly diffusing the orange giantess. Jasper opened her mouth to refute the seer, but sighed.

“Peridot. Your drive and resolve are admirable,” Jasper barked, knowing that the smaller gem wouldn’t respond out of quiet fear, snapping her gaze to Bismuth. The blacksmith sighed, drawing circles and plans for weapons in the dirt, before looking back at Steven.

“Sapphire… I also like the way you talk. Keeps me calm, coming from you, _or_ Garnet.”

Sapphire smiled at that, squeezing Ruby’s hand.

“Bismuth, your hair’s been looking kinda… Vibrant lately – it looks awesome on you,” Ruby complimented the Bismuth, who chuckled, blushing a light blush.

The group fell silent again, as Sapphire took a deep breath.

“Good. Whether we realised it or not, what we shared just then opened up our emotions, to both be displayed and understood by one another. We will now move onto questions, and then, I will ask Steven to perform a task for us.”

Each gem acknowledged Sapphire’s orders.

“Steven, does that sound fair?” Sapphire asked him.

“Y-yes… I think that’ll be fine,” he grunted, unsure. Sapphire smiled, knowing full well _how_ it would be.

“Good. Jasper, you may start.”

“Finally – answer me this, runt – why lead us on this chase? Why… _Reveal_ that information you did, then run?” Jasper barked, keeping herself guarded amidst the swirling emotions of the group. Steven sighed, feeling already defeated at the question.

“I… Was scared. I just blurted out “I love you”, and I thought I couldn’t explain myself properly, so… I left...”

“For the record, he did the same to us, Jasper. Amethyst and I found out after fusing, and _rifling_ through the other’s memories…” Pearl added, quietly.

“Us, too. Peri saw how he felt about us, and… We couldn’t get into contact with him for a while,” Lapis nodded, her voice a little more monotone than usual.

Jasper growled, then turned gaze to Sapphire and Ruby.

“You two knew how he felt about us all from the start, didn’t you?” Jasper interrogated, fists clenched and teeth grit. Ruby cleared her throat, and held her hand to the warrior-gem.

“We’ve known about it for a little while, yeah,” Ruby nodded, imploring Jasper not to speak as Sapphire continued for her.

“As Garnet, we had to calculate and quantify Steven’s attraction to us – to see if the feelings were legitimate, or based on basic human instincts, like lust.”

“And what did you find, then? Why did you keep it from us?” Jasper asked them both, eyes flaring with a subdued rage.

“You needed to hear it from Steven. We all did. You wouldn’t have believed it – you would have distanced yourself from all of us...”

“We’re sorry to take the choice away from you, but you both deserve at the very least to hear each other out,” Ruby added, successfully defusing the volatile Jasper once more. She growled in her throat again, and stared daggers at Steven, making sure to channel her annoyance directly at him.

“I have a question,” Pearl announced, holding her hand up, “Steven… Are you… _Absolutely_ sure you feel the way you do about me? And, if so…” Pearl paused to take a deep breath, “When did you start feeling this way?”

Steven nodded to her, rubbing the back of his head in shame.

“Y-yes… And… About three years ago...”

Pearl took a moment to assign the feeling to a particular place, memory or event, and failed to come up with anything specific. She then remembered Steven’s human puberty, and how he struggled with his extraordinary growth spurts, often locking himself in the bathroom, isolating himself for a time.

She glazed over his confirmation, filing it away as nothing of note, and shook her head.

“Oh, Steven...”

“My question next, little man,” Amethyst poked, smiling at him, “why me?”

“Same here… _Why?”_ Lapis echoed, speaking for herself and Peridot.

“Ditto, kiddo,” Bismuth agreed, eyes clearly full of fatigue.

Sapphire took a look of the group and sighed.

“That can be best answered if I ask Steven to perform the task I asked. Before that – does anyone else have any other questions they’d wish to ask him?” Sapphire proposed. Peridot grumbled, and spoke up, an odd expression on her face.

“I do. Not for Steven though,” she piped up, scrunching her nose at Jasper and Bismuth, “how’d you two get here?”

Bismuth and Jasper couldn’t find the words for a few moments, and scrambled, truly not expecting the Peridot’s question.

“Uh… We took the head of dead injector, and… Drilled a tunnel,” Jasper answered with a shrug of her shoulders. Peridot nodded, her scientific curiosity satisfied, and turned to Steven.

“Everyone, close your eyes,” Sapphire commanded, “and Steven...”

Their eyes closed one by one, Jasper leaving a lingering gaze on the young man before she too, shut her lids. Steven sighed, and steadied his breathing, keeping his mind blank, and ears attuned to Sapphire.

“One by one, think of us. Think of everything you love about us. How and why you _love us._ ”

Each Gem and Connie held their breath as the feelings began to swell from Steven – soon blooming from his heart, in a gentle pink wave. It fluttered about, like a flurry of petals after a swift breeze.

“ _Pearl._ ” Sapphire uttered, immediately snapping Steven’s thoughts to her. The sweetness, warmth and compassion she showed him, unconditionally – her neurotic tendencies and ceaseless education, all things that Steven could pick out that he _loved_ about Pearl.

He loved her taut, lean frame, and the impossible angles she bent at during training too. He loved the way she kept herself organised, and how she’d get frustrated when things didn’t go exactly her way.

Having all these feelings circulated back to her, Pearl snapped her eyes open, cheeks burning and breath heaving. She stared at Steven, blinking away tears, and smiled at him, clutching a hand to her chest.

“Oh, S-Steven...” She uttered, truly _floored_ at how much love the boy carried in his heart for her.

Sapphire grinned, eye still closed, and cleared her throat.

“ _Lapis Lazuli._ ”

How else could Steven describe Lapis? Powerful in so many ways, tough in so many more, and always the first to make light of a situation – one of his lifelines during his darker moments…

Lapis Lazuli - his Beach Summer Fun Buddy. His _friend_. He loved the way she would drawl certain words, catching late night reruns of Camp Pining Hearts with her and Peridot, and just _lazing_ about for hours with her.

He loved, as he did with Pearl and Amethyst, that he could confide in her. He loved _her_ , pure and simple.

Lapis slowly opened her eyes, blinking away tears as Pearl did, and stared around the circle, openly sobbing at the intensity of the feelings Steven was sending her way.

“Steven...” She uttered, clutching a hand tight to her chest, smiling at him.

Sapphire took a deep breath to calm herself, and sighed.

“ _Peridot._ ”

Determined and full of the mightiest resolve a Gem could hope for – _Peridot_. Once a designer of Homeworld tech, now a keen friend to the Crystal Gems, and a sampler of human media.

Already clutching the Gem on her forehead, opening herself to Steven’s emotions, Peridot kept her eyes nailed shut as he thought about her, and what he loved about her.

He loved her spunk. Her scientific and systematic approach to any situation she was thrown in, and her adaptability. Steven loved the way the smaller Gem would grow angry at anything she didn’t quite understand – only to then spend hours studying it later.

He _loved_ the way she would giggle and snicker with Lapis and Amethyst, a truly nasal and mischievous sound that only an angry slice of pie could master.

As Peridot opened her eyes, shaking and laughing like mad, she attempted to launch herself upwards, only to be held in place by Lapis’ watery bindings.

“B-but, d’aw come on, Lapis! Let’s just-” Peridot whispered, stretching her arms out to Steven, feebly.

“Peridot, everyone else needs to… _Know_ , okay?” The terraformer-Gem assured Peridot, kissing her cheek.

“ _Connie.”_

What _didn’t_ Steven love about Connie? She was his first friend – his Jam Bud, his fusee, his girlfriend, and… _Partner_. Connie was always there by his side, a part of his world, even when she wasn’t near him.

Steven _loved_ the way she would crinkle her nose in concentration if she was interested in what she was doing, be it reading a book or learning a new parry method from Pearl. The way her face would light up when she saw him, as if he was the best part of her day, _every_ day.

There was no doubt he loved Connie Maheswaran. And she kept her eyes closed alongside him, gently clasping his hand in hers.

“I love you Steven… You’re doing great,” she assured, kissing him on his reddening cheeks as well.

“ _Amethyst._ ”

Amethyst tried to protest, but felt the words die in her throat. So she prepared herself for the onslaught of emotions Steven was about to bring down upon her.

Steven thought of only one thing; how, despite her worry and stress over proving herself as an overcooked Gem, Amethyst was _perfect_ in his eyes. Her legendary stamina and resilience were easy to love, too – just how _hard_ she would go in a sortie, determined to better herself.

It was only after a second or two that Amethyst opened her eyes, crying. She immediately threw her arms around Steven and hugged him tight, keeping her feet a part of the circle.

“I-I love you, Stevo...” She muttered, planting a wet kiss on his cheek, tears streaking down her face. Steven’s breath hitched in his throat as well, but he remained calm, smiling as he hugged her back.

“I love you too, Amethyst...”

“ _Jasper.”_

And so Steven’s thoughts snapped back to the orange, tiger-striped, flourishing-haired beauty that was Jasper. Her strength was clear, lovable in it’s own way, and her now quiet determination, akin to Peridot’s own.

Steven loved her brute-force method of problem solving. How if she couldn’t understand or destroy it, she’d hit it until it stopped being a problem. Steven loved her massive, muscular frame, and her brilliant, flowing hair.

He loved discussing mission tactics with her, and afterwards, sitting by her side with pride after all was said and done…

Jasper’s eyes snapped open, and she shook her head quietly.

“Stupid runt...”

“ _Bismuth._ ”

Bismuth almost leapt up out of her spot, not wanting to feel the full impact of the emotional wave, focused on her. Ruby held her hand, however, and she calmed herself, wiping small tears from her eyes.

Though he’d been plagued with guilt when seeing her, every day since he bubbled her, he didn’t feel it now. He could only focus on her hair, her cheesy puns, her devotion to the Crystal Gem’s cause, and…

The way lava droplets would gently pool down her muscly back, as she worked on the forge. He loved the times when he felt that _no one_ was more Crystal Gem than she was – the perfect example of Earth’s defenders, and now, one of his closest friends.

Sapphire and Ruby giggled, and without thinking, Steven began to think on how he loved their synergy – how fire and ice balanced each other out and brought out the best in both of them – not to mention the cute twang to Ruby’s voice, nor Sapphire’s calming, gentle tones…

He finally opened his eyes, and shook himself from his thoughts, shocked at the pink aura that now surrounded him and his friends. Now beaming, wiping the clear stream of tears from her eye, Sapphire giggled.

“I think that answered our questions,” She announced.


	10. Realignment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper struggles to adapt to her situation.

Devotion.

Jasper stared to the ocean for longer than necessary. 8 hours or so. Ticking past another 15 minutes in her head, she gave one more look back to her Diamond, and grunted with muted annoyance.

Her Diamond had yet to awake, for the 8th hour since Jasper had taken her first vigil in _centuries._

She had patience for her Diamond.

(…)

Strength.

Jasper’s first sortie was finished quickly. Her Diamond and the Crystal Gems had struggled against a corrupted Emerald for some daft reason. Jasper saw through it’s movement and patterns, recognising the royal Gem beneath, and _struck_.

Her Diamond ordered her to not shatter the corrupted Gem. Jasper dared not question her, for she was shown the same mercy only weeks before.

(…)

Confusion.

Jasper was ordered to “rest”, soon after another sortie. Though she had refused to learn human customs, she was keen to follow her Diamonds orders – so she “rested”. Her Diamond also told her to not follow the orders without question. Her Diamond encouraged the idea of a “forum”, and discussion.

Perhaps that was why her and the Crystal Gems were so wildly inefficient at their first fight together.

(…)

Sadness.

She stared to the ocean again, and to the relocated Barn, feeling nothing but… Sadness. Her Diamond described it as a horrible feeling – a burden of the human condition. She didn’t know why she felt it, and couldn’t place it’s origin. It just appeared, out of nowhere.

Jasper learnt to hate it.

(…)

Trust.

Her Diamond asked for the trust of the Crystal Gems, as she attempted to heal the corrupted Emerald. Jasper felt it again – Pink’s beautiful, calming aura, that let her know everything was _right_.

The healing failed. As the Emerald became corrupted again, another fight began. It had it out for Jasper – coming for her to start, before being poofed immediately by her Diamond.

(…)

Anger.

Jasper was asked not to refer to her Diamond as “her Diamond”. She asked to be called Steven again.

Jasper didn’t know why her face lit up then, didn’t know _why_ anger bubbled to her skin, flaring her muscles. She apologised to her Diamond, and left her temporarily, to clear her mind.

(...)

Friendship.

The runt Amethyst was the first to find Jasper. She found her on the outskirts of town, incidentally, and made her partake in some human activities.

Jasper questioned why. Questioned the point of “enjoying” herself. Questioned Amethyst’s motives.

Amethyst was _not_ quick to answer. She said that “we don’t need a reason to have fun,” “you should let loose every once in a while”, and “we missed you”.

(…)

Love.

Jasper returned after a week of absence, threw herself at her Diamond’s feet, and begged forgiveness for leaving her side. Her Diamond simply stood her up, and hugged her.

A beautiful feeling. Something she didn’t deserve. Didn’t _ever_ want to ask for.

(…)

Birds chirped _too_ happily as Garnet, Amethyst, and Jasper trekked through their assigned mission. It was through mountainous woods, transitioning back to Spring, oh-so-slowly. The sun was high in the air as Amethyst sneered at it, whining all the while.

“Remind me – her wording was vague… What are our Diamond’s orders again?” Jasper asked, eyes keen on the horizon.

“Same thing we always do. Find angry Gem. Poof it. Bubble it,” Amethyst chuckled, poking her tongue out at the perfect Jasper. With a slightly slower scan, Jasper cracked a tiny smile to the runt Amethyst.

“ _Steven’s mission_ ,” Garnet began, pushing her visor up the bridge of her nose, “is for us to investigate possible sightings of a corrupted fusion.”

Amethyst visibly tensed at the words, but continued onward, blissfully unaware of the connotations of such a thing. Jasper nodded, thinking back to her Diamond’s words.

“She could’ve just said it outright.”

“Steven was uncomfortable with bringing it up. I’m hoping it’s a same-Gem fusion, but we should be prepared for anything,” Garnet clarified, putting a gentle hand on the Jasper’s shoulder. It was shrugged off, carefully, and ignored.

“Any notes on colouration, faceting, or body type? Anything at all?” Jasper asked, growing agitated.

“It’s big,” Amethyst huffed, poking Jasper in her ribs.

“Steven mentioned, going by the local reports, that it’s most likely an Amethyst and a Topaz. Hairy _and_ scaly, covered in purple and orange spots everywhere,” Garnet intoned, darting a daring gaze behind herself, before staring back.

“Sounds strong,” Jasper grunted, cracking a grin at the chance to fight.

“Mm…” Garnet pondered, Sapphire and Ruby’s thoughts wandering to the corrupted fusion – how and _why_ did they fuse? Was it simply a matter of necessity, the two brutish Gems needing to survive among the rest, or did they fuse prior to fusion?

Did they find a way, past their wild souls, to trust the light of themselves with another?

Or was it two scared, frightened souls, merging at the final moments of the war?

Bittersweet as it might’ve been, Garnet recollected her thoughts and kept her focus on the mission ahead. No doubt, if Steven could purify the corruption in these two, she’d be asking them plenty of questions.

Amethyst swallowed an errant lump in her throat, staring quickly to Jasper, before snapping her gaze straight. She kept her body limber, ready to dodge or strike anything that looked at them funny. She couldn’t help but also tense at every twig snapped, every leaf shuffling on the forest’s floor, _taunting_ her _._

She repeated a phrase to herself that Connie had ingrained in her. The words looped in her mind until her mind _calmed_ , focusing her senses on the hunt. She wanted this to be over as quickly as possible. Back in her room within 2 hours, tops. Hopefully also without an emotional revelation that would leave her a mess.

Jasper noticed the two – read their faces with a trained ease. She grunted with agitation as winds ceased to blow, and as the critters of the forest began to scatter.

“It’s near,” She bellowed, conjuring her crash helmet instantly. Amethyst and Garnet nodded to Jasper, and sheathed their weapons as well, backs each other as they scanned their vectors.

Jasper’s annoyances quickly faded as her prey came barrelling towards them – a hulking, six-limbed, wolf-like Gem-creature. She grinned as it charged down, intent on gobbling the trio down in it’s snarling maw.

“On my command, we leap out of the way of this thing. I’ll crush it’s head with mine!” roared Jasper, psyching herself up for the headbutt of the century. Garnet’s brow creased in concentration as she nodded, eyes still darting around the woods.

“NOW!”

Amethyst spun away from the corrupted beast, ready to strike-and-run if needed, noticing Garnet’s growing worry. Jasper chuckled as she brought her helmet down upon the Gem’s head, throwing her full force into the attack.

The Amethyst-Topaz fusion squealed with hurt, reeling back from the forces, but shook the pain away quickly, roaring into the air. Jasper backed away from the creature, shocked, and regrouped with her two squadmates.

“Garnet! What’s wrong?” Amethyst asked, holding the fusion by her shoulders.

“It’s much stronger than we thought!” Jasper barked.

“And it’s got friends...”

(Some time later…)

Fighting against a duo of corrupted Amethysts, Jasper found herself fatigued, outnumbered, and, not for the first time in her life, _beat_. The corrupted fusion was the leader of their horrid pack, and had assembled a rowdy group of former foot-soldiers into a prowling horde of tainted Gems.

Garnet and Amethyst, now fused into Sugilite, took on the main contender. Sugilite was being hounded on all sides by the smaller Gems, and was separated quickly from Jasper.

Between them, they had poofed what, maybe 3, out of a total of ten?

Jasper’s teeth strained together as she struggled to pin down and poof the dodging, shifty Amethyst pair. She would rush at one, get swiped or clawed at by the other, lose her grip, return to the centre of their circle, and repeat the whole process again.

They had counters, _tactics_ , and even crude strategies they employed, despite their corruption!

She saw them stop, and took the pause to leap away, before being dog-piled by both. One tried to gnaw on her arms as the other chomped around her hard-light legs. Fighting through the pain, she attempted to swipe or punch the snout of the one chewing on her arms.

Despite her best efforts, she had failed her Diamond again. It was enough to fill her with sorrow, to remain motionless as the Amethysts tried their best to snap at her. For what was the point of trying?

The two corrupted Amethysts halted themselves as a brilliant flash of pink shone across the battlefield, zipping and poofing the nibbling quartz soldiers on Sugilite’s back.

“Thanks, baby! We’re gonna teach this one a thing or two!” She roared, going fully against the corrupted fusion, holding _nothing_ back.

“Wh-what...” Jasper muttered, idly kicking one Amethyst in her face.

Before her appeared her Diamond, clad in her freshly conjured, glowing-pink armour. It was fashioned with a lion’s head on one pauldron, and exuded an air of authority only Jasper could truly understand.

With two unbelievably quick strikes, the Amethysts were finished before they could even drop Jasper from their mouths. Her Diamond quickly scanned her Gem for any nicks, scars, or cracks, and helped her up.

“Jasper! Are you okay?” Steven asked her, face etched with a worry unfitting someone of his status. Jasper stood on her feet, and groaned with exertion, attempting to stand straight for her Diamond.

“I’m… F- I’m…” She couldn’t even utter the words, her mind blurred with the pain of the battle, muddied by the sorrow of failing her Diamond. She was quickly wrapped in another hug, her chin resting on her Diamond’s shoulders.

“Just… Just rest! I’ve got you, you’re okay...” Steven uttered, stroking her back.

Jasper could only shake her head as she poofed away, leaving her Gem behind. Steven snatched her Gem out of the air, and sighed, clutching it close to his chest.

“Damn it.”

(Some time later…)

It was on another rainy night that Jasper reappeared. Swirls of ferocious, beautiful orange whipped around her Gem, and soon, she found herself remade – senses fully returning. She took a deep breath, and calmed herself as she analysed her surroundings.

‘ _Temple. Diamond’s home. Safe.’_

She felt a hand on her lap, and almost leapt backwards in shock, until she traced it’s source. Lying, face fraught with worry, her Diamond slept on his bed, Amethyst resting in the crook of his other arm.

“My Diamond...” She uttered, swallowing past her shame as the rain beat down upon the Temple’s exterior. It was on a night like this she first reformed herself, as a corrupted Gem – rain _pouring_ , purifying the lands it touched.

She stroked her Diamond’s hand, daring not to stare at her as she slept.

“I failed you,” Jasper uttered, berating herself. She rose from the corner of Steven’s bed to leave, but lingered on the touch of his hand. She traced his features in her mind, from his long, luscious curls to his clearly masculine face – the body frame that was _nothing_ like Roses, or Pink’s…

She spent the longest time analysing the young man. His actions, his own ferocity in battle, and his budding leadership methods, drawing analogues to her Diamond.

For he… She was still _her Diamond_ , right?

If not, then what?

Jasper had retained her duties – but deep down she knew that Pink was gone. Rose was gone. Her fellow Quartz soldiers had long since been corrupted or shattered due to the war. She knew the man who held her hand _cared_ for her, _loved_ her, but for what reason?

If he wasn’t Pink, then why _should_ he care for her?

Amethyst shifted herself awake, wiping away an errant streak of drool from her chin. Jasper locked up as the runt-Gem sat up, yawning deeply. Amethyst chuckled as quiet tears welled in Jasper’s eyes. The perfect Gem growled at the runt, yet Amethyst remained unfazed.

“Don’t worry, sis, I won’t tell. We all cry sometimes...” Amethyst drawled gently, laying a hand on Steven’s gem. Jasper wiped the tears from her eyes indignantly, and huffed, turning her gaze away from Amethyst.

“I cry a lot, actually,” Amethyst poked at herself, smiling still.

“I… Wasn’t...”

“I understand. I’ve been where you are before, Jas…”

There was a moment where it sunk into Jasper – Amethyst truly did understand, didn’t she? She wasn’t with the Crystal Gems at the start – she was no soldier to Rose Quartz, so obviously, Rose Quartz had no reason to take her under her wing, right?

Inherently they both still lived with Homeworld’s shame over their backs – _mocking_ their original purposes, living like _humans_. They both followed… Him.

“He’s got a lot of love in him... It’s his biggest weakness, actually,” Amethyst joked, a quiet tear or two falling from her eyes. Steven snored deeply, caring not about the woken world, watching his dreams fly by.

“Rose… Pink, whatever you want to call her, she did too. They just loved the world around them, and everything in it – to _them_ , nothing was… Is beyond care.”

“I-I… I don’t wish to be cared for,” Jasper grunted out, removing her hand from Steven’s, sitting up from the bed’s edge. She turned back to Amethyst, her Gem glowing a fierce orange in the dark of the night.

“No one’s saying that. I’m just saying he’ll do it anyway. You can’t stop him,” Amethyst chuckled, smiling to Jasper. Jasper then sighed, staring back to Steven, stare lingering on his face.

“Him...” She uttered, daring to taste the heresy on her lips. When the words didn’t bite her back, a sense of calm washed over her.

She felt free. Weightless. And yet, at the same time, burdened with the sorrow of losing her Diamond.

“Pink… She’s…”

“Pink’s gone, sis,” Amethyst finished for her, voice low and sombre. Jasper could only nod, sighing again.

“But Steven’s here for ya. I am, too. And we won’t abandon you if you fall. We’ll pick you up, and we’ll try harder next time. We always do!”

Jasper felt the Amethyst’s arms wrap around her torso, and idly traced down her conjured suit, noticing it’s newly etched star. She let a bittersweet chuckle escape her throat as Amethyst gently rocked her.

Pink might’ve been gone, but that was fine. She had come to terms with the grief she felt for her Diamond centuries ago.

Yes, she may have been beaten, but she didn’t mind that – how else could she test her strength and improve herself?

And Jasper may have lost her purpose in life, but she was okay with that. She would adapt, and find a new one. Or, like Amethyst, _a lack of one_.


	11. Let's get down to Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...In which we trace a feeling back to it's roots.

Clang after clang, molten metal was moulded meticulously by the beautiful Bismuth, weapons steadily piling behind her as she threw them off the anvil.

“Hiya Bismuth!”

“Hello, Bismuth,” Pearl greeted after Steven, internally adjusting herself to the heat of the forge, the many stone doors snapping shut behind her.

“Good morning you two! What brings you to my neck of the mountains, eh?” She asked them both, dusting her hands off on her apron. Steven blushed, rubbing the back of his head in a boyish, bashful manner, and stuttered.

“We want to commission your services, Bismuth. We want a suit of armour - tough, imposing, but… Beautiful...” Pearl answered for Steven, a hand on the 15 year old boy’s shoulder. Steven nodded, conjuring his shield with an errant thought.

“I mean… Homeworld might be coming back for us, or… We could run into corrupt Gems at any given moment… My shield’s fine, but I want-no, I _need_ armour!” Steven yelled, his voice cracking slightly. Bismuth, eyes narrowed, nodded to the pair, deep in thought.

Slowly, a smile cracked across her lips.

“Alright. A set of armour… I think I can do that!”

‘ _Correction: I can do that in my sleep.’_ Bismuth thought to herself.

“And...” Pearl began for Steven, prompting him to finish the sentence.

“I… I want it to have a Lion’s head for a pauldron...” Steven mumbled again. Bismuth held back a chuckle, but nodded, patting Steven on the back.

“Are you Lion to me?” She asked.

“N-Nah, come on, Lion ain’t my Bismuth!” Steven chuckled.

Pearl could only groan, rolling her eyes at the pair.

“Consider it commissioned, Steven,” The smith-Gem said, a new spark in her eyes as ideas came to her mind. Pearl left the forge shortly after their exchange, leaving Steven to sit back and watch Bismuth do her work.

She ignored him for the most part, occasionally asking him to pass tools or metals to add onto the armour. As she fell into the rhythm of the forge, she smiled, truly _proud_ to be working as she once did before.

Back in the days of the Rebellion, Bismuth was the mistress-at-arms, maker of the Rebel’s armaments. She worked with a few assistants and friends, most notably Biggs Jasper – cranking out the weapons and armour that kept the Rebels _rebelling_. Bismuth could recall every _strike_ , every imperfection and perfection of every blade or axe she produced.

She cared not for Homeworld’s spires. They were not _hers_.

She cared for each sword that stabbed, and each axe that chopped. She cared for the mighty hammers Quartzes would swing, and the delicate etchings sprinkled into her work. For it was twofold – her _art_ , and her _service_.

She followed Rose Quartz not because she cared for the Earth, but that she cared for _freedom_. Freedom, unbound and untamed – away from the maniacal matriarch(s) of Homeworld. Rose cared for the free expression of every living thing, be it Gem or human, and the lives they could lead.

Bismuth didn’t care if she was shattered because of her work. She didn’t care if she didn’t live to see the day where she could live _freely_. She cared about carving that path so that others may have made their art.

She stared to Steven, still _full of wonder_ , full of innocence, despite everything he’d been through.

‘ _Despite what I did...’_ Bismuth thought to herself, snapping her gaze away from the distracted teen. She kept her feelings buried deep, not wanting to dwell on Rose’s betrayal, her _facade_. Her mind would always, _always_ come back to one painful memory or the other.

Losing her friends.

Being betrayed by Rose, for suggesting the use of the Breaking Point.

Getting bubbled for thousands of years, isolated and trapped.

Being betrayed by Steven.

Being betrayed by Rose, or  _Pink_ , again…

She and Steven were on good terms. Better  than good , even! They were friends, comrades and Gems-in-arms, always watching the other’s back, and sharing terrible puns!  They’d made their peace with the issue, and forgiven the other.

She supposed that was how Steven had kept his innocence – whereas a lesser leader would have eventually resorted to shattering their enemies, Steven maintained hope that their enemies could become  _friends_ . 

Steven held the belief that no Gem was beyond saving, even if it meant occasionally letting a Gem or two escape Earth every now and then.

Within a mere hour she had finished the pauldron – a roaring lion’s  head, made with a magical, shimmering pink metal, dotted with ornate streaks of bismuth. She eyed the piece carefully, light refracting off every tooth and tip, and sized up Steven.

Noticing Bismuth’s keen eyes, Steven cleared his throat, “Um… Shouldn’t you have measured me first, or something? It looks kinda small...”

Bismuth chuckled, and walked over to the young teen, easily fixing the pauldron over his shoulder. Steven’s jaw dropped as the Lion’s head expanded, glowing with it’s own mystical light. Fixed to size, Steven stood, and tested movement with the piece on.

“Oh my gosh,” he muttered, marvelling at the beauty of the work. Bismuth giggled again, and raised an axe, bringing it down upon the head. The metal of the axe groaned and creased under it’s own pressure, bouncing harmlessly off the pauldron.

Shocked, Steven snapped his gaze to Bismuth, jaw still dropped.

“OH MY GOSH,” he cried, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. Bismuth cackled with glee, marvelling as the Lion’s head ignored even the slightest bit of damage, showing no scarring or etching from the axe.

Steven took that moment to hug Bismuth, a few tears quietly creeping from his eyes.

“Bismuth, this is so awesome! I’m gonna go into town right now, and find a way to pay for this commission!” Before she could protest, before she could even begin to hug the teen back, Bismuth was left alone in the forge. Her pauldron sat on a nearby bench, mouth stuck in an eternal, glorious roar.

“I-… I was happy to do it for free...” She laughed, not believing the boy’s attitude.

S he formed the rest of the armour,  hours later – chainmail beneath pink plates, shining as brightly as the Lion’s head did, imposing and beautiful. As she thought about adding more to it – thorns, etchings, and the inscriptions of past battles, the more smile faded.

The more reality set in. The more hate seeped into her mind for Rose Quartz.

_Pink Diamond_ .

She hammered plates into place, belting them together with overwhelming force, grunting and exerting all rage she felt for the Gem who had betrayed her,  _twice_ . The Diamond –  a part of  the very system she sought to collapse, tricking other Gems into fighting for her cause?

A game of cosmic proportions, for  _what_ ?

Her comrades, her  _friends_ – shattered, smashed back together into horrifying forms, or corrupted, bubbled, and forgotten?

‘ _For what?’_ She thought.

“ _ **FOR WHAT!?”**_

The armour set fractured after the final blow, sending fragments ricocheting around the forge. Bismuth reformed her hands, and stared at them, crying freely. Through grit teeth, she tried to reign in her emotions, to control her anger.

She clenched her fists, and roared, smacking a hand across her anvil, sending it through a stone wall.

‘ _So many...’_ She thought, vision blurred, _‘So many Gems lost.’_

Pink Diamond, to her, was an immature fool. A brat who wanted to have her cake and eat it, too. Did she believe all of the nonsense she spouted as Rose Quartz? Did she really believe all life on Earth, humans included, was worth saving?

Or, if the  Z oo was anything to go by, did she simply want to  _keep her toys_ ?

Bismuth’s rage subsided quickly after that.  Yet h er tears didn’t stop flowing,  as she stared at the shattered pieces of her art.  She wiped the  droplets , sniffling, grunting as she then picked up the fragments.

The doors snapped open again as Steven came back, the rustling of plastic bags clear in the Gems’ ears. He saw the mess, and without a second thought, helped Bismuth. She eyed the bags he held, his growing frame, and thanked him, hoping she didn’t look like a mess.

“Thanks,” She uttered, clutching the pieces in her hand to melt again.

“Don’t mention it. Cooled down the metal too fast again?” He asked, not directly meeting Bismuth’s gaze.

“Yeah,” she sniffed again, dipping her face into the stream of magma, “cooling accident again. I must be losing my touch!” She jostled, moulding the molten metal once more. As she finished hammering the pieces back into suitable shapes, she stared at what Steven was preparing, confused.

“Is that… Human food?”

“Yup! A whole bunch of treats, drinks, and the ingredients to my super secret, very special hot chocolate!” Steven boasted, storing all perishable items in a cooler, before presenting Bismuth with a small chocolate ball.

Immediately, she was on the defensive, apprehension seeping into her face.

“Listen, Steven, I appreciate the thought, bu-”

“Plleeeeeeease? Trust me, I’ve never been wrong with treats!” He implored, hands clasped around her hand, chocolate balancing delicately on his finger tips. Bismuth grunted, sighed, and bit her lip before shrugging.

“Alright. Sure, give it here,” she barked out, snatching the chocolate ball from Steven’s fingers with her teeth. Not used to the action of chewing for sustenance, or _taste_ , she ruminated on the ball, letting the sugar and cocoa sink deep into her freshly-moulded tastebuds.

After a while, of Steven staring at her with a beaming grin, her eyes lit up.

“Oh my gosh.”

( Some time later...)

It had been some weeks since he’d received the armour, and Steven couldn’t have been happier with it. He had spent days training in the chainmail and plates, adjusting himself to the added weight, and even testing it in some live-fire sorties.

To summarise, the piece was  _perfect_ . It seemed to shine brighter with every successful mission,  _nay_ , every happy memory added to Steven’s mind. It seemed stronger for it, too, standing up against all kinds of attacks!

Yet, Steven could sense something was still off between him and Bismuth. An errant, niggling thing.

It was a quiet moment of tension between them, whenever they were alone. It was a stare they shared at a table, or across a room, when no one else was paying attention to them. It was a deep, disturbing feeling that told him  _“you hurt her”_ .

It didn’t matter if Bismuth was smiling, laughing, or crying with the Crystal Gems. It was the trauma that still held Steven’s heart in it’s cold grip. The plague of his dreams, careening them into nightmares.

The  _blade_ through her  _chest_ .

Puberty didn’t help, either. Now that he had started to fully grow like a regular human boy his age, the remaining half of his peaceful dreams were being replaced with nocturnal emissions.  There was no break – no end or rhyme or reason to the sweet releases, or the haunting visions.

No amount of talking could fix it. No amount of forgiveness or apologies from Bismuth to him, or himself to Bismuth could ease it. His dad’s guidance sessions helped, as did Connie’s comfort, but the memory was still there.

He sighed. Deeply. His hot breath, trailing on the wind of the beach.

...Did he hate Rose for throwing him into this? Did he hate her for throwing the responsibilities of a millennia long war on his shoulders?

A little, yeah.

Did he regret ever  _taking_ those responsibilities?

‘ _No,’_ he thought. For if he had forsaken them, then the Cluster would have been awoken. Peridot would have cleared a path back to the Diamonds, opening Earth up for recolonisation. 

He would never have met his friends. Lapis, Peridot, the Rubies, the Off-Colours…

He would never have met Bismuth.

His breath hitched as he thought of  _her,_ again – not the feelings associated with her, but  _her_ . A strong,  vibrant Gem, capable of shattering rock with ease, who regularly showered in  _lava_ . A wise-cracking, awe-inspiring Gem in her own right, devoted beyond belief.

And lately, in his eyes, a  _muscled beauty_ . The Forge’s queen, with curves like they’d been carved from stone themselves. It was no wonder he loved to watch her work – the  _sweat_ , dripping down from her forehead, the tense and release of her muscles, and the  _passion…_

He  caught himself, taking deep breaths, and calming down quickly, staring back to the expanse of stars. From his front porch, Steven ticked time idly by,  having just woken up from an anxiety attack. A soft breeze tickled sand past his feet, and, with another deep breath, he sighed.

He couldn’t keep this up. He couldn’t keep _dreaming_ of the Gems, when he and Connie were officially dating. Sure, he could fantasise every now and then, but he _couldn’t_ devote his willpower and active thoughts to things like this.

With a weary sigh, and some quick thoughts, he sent two text messages.

“ _Sorry if I woke you up, but dad, how do you know when you love someone? Like, REALLY love someone?”_

“ _Connie, I wanna talk with you. Whenever you get this message. I’ll be up all night. Love you.”_


End file.
